Good Enough

I am not a good person. This bothers me. I want to be good. I try to be good. I find it really hard to keep failing. It's hard to pick yourself up, ask for forgiveness and keep trying. There is always this voice inside my head (well, there are many, but one in particular!) that asks me why I even bother trying. I will never be good enough.

But that's the point isn't it. None of us are ever going to be good enough. And yet the Lord still calls us His Sons and Daughters, still cares about every aspect of our lives, every time we stray he wants us back.

I think this notion of unconditional love is the thing I struggle with the most. I read about it. I hear about it. I know it in my head. But at times I have trouble really believing it. I long for that deep certainty, that unwavering and radical faith that I hear others speak about. It's a bit like when you can't remember a song lyric or person's name. It's right there, but the harder you try to grasp it, the further it slips away.

I want to live in the word, I want to believe with absolute certainty that my Lord and Saviour is there for me. Am I complicating things by thinking about it too much? Am I making it harder than it needs to be?