Letting Go

I have decided that letting go sucks.

It's too hard. I don't want to do it. I am refusing to participate.

This morning I waved goodbye to Steph and her best friend as they headed off to Whyalla to see a movie. All alone. In her own car. Whyalla is a 150km drive and is one of our nearest cities. It's an easy city to drive in, nice wide streets, not too busy. Steph has driven there before...with me.

It was just two girls going out for a fun day together.

And yet I felt physically ill. I have been see-sawing between panic and prayer all day.

I'm a bit surprised at myself. I've never been the hand wringing type. Until now obviously.

They are still in Whyalla at present. Steph has her singing lesson at 6.30pm, which means she will be traveling home at dusk, contending with trucks, headlights and kangaroos. The horrific possibilities are endless, and I can't stop myself from imagining the worst.

Is this normal? Am I a complete basket case?

A very wise friend reminded me today that they are in God's hands, and that he is a much better parent than me (thankfully!). I know this and still I worry.

I will continue to worry and pray until she is home.

I'm hoping it won't be this bad every time she takes a step away from my protection. It's my job to protect her. It's not a job I'm ready or willing to give up!

She may be almost 17, with a licence, a car, responsibilities and a job. BUT SHE IS STILL MY BABY!!!!

Someone get me a paper bag....panic panic panic panic.......

Juggling Act

I've dropped a few balls just lately in the juggling act of life.

I'm ashamed to admit that regular attendance at church is one of the dropped balls.

As is blogging regularly.

Not to mention the washing, the ironing, the housework.

I feel as though I'm barely keeping my head above water at present. And tomorrow I'm going to take a step toward remedying that by going to church. Church always makes me feel better. Gets my head in tune with my heart and helps me sort out my priorities.

God doesn't want to be my number one priority. He wants EVERY part of me, and rightly so. He should be my ONLY priority. Once I manage to get that right, then everything else just falls into place.

I know this truth.

I'm just really struggling to put it into practice.

Lord, help me get my priorities right, and help me remember that you are my everything, and deserve nothin less than my undivided devotion and attention. Help me with the reality of my life at the moment and get me though this busy time of year with sanity in tact. Please just help me stay on top of my committments and if something needs to go, then help me work out what.

Please Pray

Last night we lost an absolute legend.

He was an icon at my place of work. Everyone loved him. He was a diamond in the rough with a heart of gold.

Last night one of our mechanics was killed in a car accident at the age of 43.

His 18 year old son also works for us, and is in the third year of his apprenticeship.

Finny was what we call in Australia a really top bloke. I have spent almost 10 years sharing jokes, stories, arguments and laughs with Finny. I loved him dearly.

Finny was also somewhat of a trouble magnet. He got into fights in bars, he drank too much, he swore a LOT, he lost his licence and ended up in court countless times and he drove way way too fast. And last night speed was his downfall.

I feel a bit numb. I haven't really reacted to this terrible news at all. I feel quite removed. I don't know why.

I do know that I am not looking forward to tomorrow. We have a staff of about 20, and we all loved Finny. Everyone has a funny story about Finny. I don't know what we will do without him, or how everyone will react to this tragic, and unneccesary loss.

The worst part is that we won't have time to grieve. We are in the middle of the busiest time of the year. We all must carry on regardless, even though it's the last thing any of us want to do.

So, please pray for all the staff in the coming weeks as we deal with sudden loss of a dearly loved and respected workmate.

Also pray for Finny's girlfriend, who is an ambulance officer and was called to the scene of the accident last night. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now.

Lord, please be with our staff and management tomorrow as we all come to terms with this sudden and tragic loss. Please watch over Finny's girlfriend, his son's and his family as they deal with their loss. I don't know where Finny is now Lord, but I pray that somehow he is with you.

Still Here...

Just in case you are wondering, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I just seem to be hurtling through life at a ridiculous pace at the moment, and haven't found time to sit and catch up with all my bloggy friends.

So...an update.

Miss Milly is still the darling of the family. Chewing all and sundry. Making off with brooms, shoes, remote controls and basically anything that isn't tied down. The puppy puddles are becoming less frequent (thankfully) and she has settled into a daily routine spending a lot of time with Kym as he goes about his daily jobs. She loves to ride on the motorbike with him, and has been introduced to the sheep.

Kym is frantically getting everything ready for harvest. With the weather warming up the crops have ripened really quickly so he's keen to get into it. The header (or combine, or harvester, depending on where you are from) is still getting the air conditioner fixed so he is getting a little imatient.

Scott is banned from the computer at the moment (which is why I am on here at last!). His attitude leaves a little to be desired, but isn't anything too severe, or difficult to deal with. He is a very busy boy at the moment with squash on Mondays, junior tennis on Tuesdays, Cricket practice on Wednesdays, senior tennis on Friday and Cricket on Saturday. No wonder he's been getting a bit grumpy! He's just starting to get a cold so that isn't helping.

Steph is doing pretty well. She's busy with some assignments that need to be completed in the next couple of weeks. She entered the Search for a Singer contest in Port Lincoln again this year, and again has made it to the finals. She is just starting out with singing lessons on Thursday evenings in Whyalla, which is just over an hour's drive. I hope the teacher is good and she enjoys her lessons. She hasn't really been singing at all lately as she's been pretty down and doubting her ability so I'm glad she's enjoying it again.

And me...well I'm still working, working, working. I'm feeling a bit under the weather myself but not unwell enough to take a day off, just unwell enough to make me short tempered and grumpy (just ask Scott!). I've been a bit absent from church in the past few weeks and it shows. Obviously time to get back into it and work on my relationship with the Lord.

Right. Enough about me. Time for me to come on over and see what you have all been up to!

More Millyness!

I just had to share this picture!

When Boris first met Milly he was less than impressed. He wouldn't come to me if I smelled of Milly. For two days he refused to look at me, he wouldn't sit on my lap, he sat next to me and pointedly looked at the wall. All of this I found highly amusing!

But, this evening it looks like the ice is melting!

How cute is this? :)

New Addition to the Family

Introducing Milly! She's the one at the front. We brought Milly home on Friday evening, so have had a weekend full of puppy mischief, puppy love, puppy play and lots of puppy puddles to clean up!

Milly is an Australian Koolie, which is one of the oldest breed of working dog in Australia. They are renowned for their love of working, and have been known to work until they drop just for the sheer love of it. They are extremely active both physically and mentally and are not a breed that you would keep in a backyard, no matter how big. Koolies need to work. They love to work and if they aren't mentally and physically stimulated they will become frustrated and take over your family, your garden and your sanity! If they don't see you as the leader they will take it upon themselves to train you!

So as you can imagine, the decision to bring home this gorgeous little girl wasn't one taken lightly. At the moment she is a gorgeous little bundle of puppy fluff, but soon she will need to be trained for her own good, and for ours.

Koolies aren't the prettiest dog you will ever meet! They are charactarised by their merled coat which comes in red, black or blue (Milly has a bit of all three!) and their blue eyes. Some have one brown eye and one blue. Milly's eyes are both blue.

This is what an Australian Koolie adult looks like. Milly has more black on her than this one, but it gives you a good idea.

I'm planning to document her training and I'm excited to see how she performs. Her breed is almost revered among people who have owned them and worked them and I can't wait to see if she is as good as they say she is.

But it doesn't matter if she isn't. We love her already.

Saturday Afternoon Randomness

After finishing the washing this afternoon I wandered out to the garden to see what Kym was up to. He was just finishing off planting out his tomato seedlings, so I gave him a hand, then went and got the camera to take a photo of the new plants.
Just as we were finishing up Kym pointed out a baby galah in a nearby tree, so of course I took a photo of him too! His nest is a hollow log that Kym has wired up into the tree. The same family of wild galah's nest there every year. This young fellow wasn't afraid of me at all. I was able to get really close and he happily sat in his nest watching me.

Since I had camera in hand I thought I'd go for a bit of a wander around the farm. Boris (the cat) decided to come with me and we had a pleasant walk on a lovely calm spring afternoon. As you can see we went by the bees, who were busy coming and going loaded up with pollen. If you get really close you can see the pollen on their legs. But I wasn't getting that close!

Of course Boris had to have a rest after all that exercise. He got a bit of a fright when a couple of magpies swooped over his head. They don't appreciate it when you get close to their nest, and they aren't afraid to tell you!

He's a handsome young man isn't he? :)