Sunday, October 27, 2013

Fix it..

I learned something in church today (go figure!)

I'm a fixer. What's known in psychology circles as a "rescuing parent". When stuff goes wrong for my family I fix it. It's who I am. It's what I do.

Today Andrew (our lay preacher) said something that struck a chord with me. He said that when he has a problem he jumps in straight away and tries to find a solution. Immediately. Straight away. And he's only just now learning to step back, take a breath and think first.

I do that. Scott's wasn't happy at school so I met with teachers, I talked to him to try to find out what the problem was. I tried everything I could think of to fix it. I even prayed. Eventually. But nothing I could do would fix it. It just didn't get fixed. He left school at the end of year 11 and I felt a failure.

Steph breaks a nail, she tells me, gets stung by a bee, tells me, needs a life in candy crush, tells me, has boyfriend trouble, tells me....and I fix and fix and fix and fix...

But the time has come to take a step back and breathe. I'm not doing them or myself any favours by trying to make everything perfect for them all the time. I know this in my head but in my heart I just want them happy. Because when they are happy I am happy.

So fix it Mum is going to try to stop. See what happens when the first problem arises...

Oh, and tomorrow Scott has a job any prayers would be much appreciated it. I'm still allowed to do that!

Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to be able to advise my kids without taking on their problems for them. Help them to grow into independant adults who are able to make wise decisions and learn from their mistakes. Please be with Scott tomorrow as he attends a job interview, help him find the right answers to any questions he is asked and help his prospective employer see the wonderful young man that he is. In your precious name I pray. Amen.