Leaving it with the Lord

Leaving it with the Lord, and trusting that He knows what is right for my family and myself is something that I really struggle with.

I want to fix things. I want to remain in control. I want things to happen when it's convenient for ME. And most of all I do not want to be taught lessons until I feel that I am ready to learn them, which would be never of course, because I am always right!

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths"

This trust thing is something I'm finding difficult. I have now issue in acknowledging the Lord for all the wonderful things He has done in my life, and for all the blessing He has bestowed upon me. I need to learn the trust part. Imagine me thinking "no sorry Lord, this is a biggie, I'd better handle this one". Who do I think Iam?

And then there is Matthew 12:9-10 But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong.

"For when I am weak then I am strong"??? I hate feeling powerless. Or weak. I certainly don't "boast" about it. I try to be capable, organised (I did say "I try"), calm, and IN CONTROL.

There have been a few moments this week when I have been broken. I have felt helpless and at a complete loss of where to from here. This in the past has been when I would try to fix things myself, but this time I didn't. This time I cried out to the Lord. And I felt so close to Him, and He directed me, and I heard Him. "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths". Well go figure. The Bible was right!

So now I don't feel in control, but I do feel at peace. I would never in a million years have thought that it was possible to feel at peace without being in complete control.

Lord, I'm sorry that I have to be broken to listen to you. Please help me to learn to trust you fully and commit my life to your hands. Thankyou for my friends and for their prayers and concern for me. Thankyou that Stephanie seems to have made some improvement today. I pray that she can continue to learn to value herself, and to lean on your love and support to get her through difficult times. Please speak to her heart Lord. I pray that she will decide to go to bible study tonight, and that she will learn more about you.