That's my new name. Sharon the avoider.
I avoid stuff. I am the queen of "putting it on the backburner". I have piles of work on my desk that I will do later.
I avoid the dentist, doctor, accountant, washing, ironing, housework of any kind, exercise and most of all I avoid at all costs confrontation.
I hate confrontation. I don't like standing up for myself. I'm a sook when it comes to confronting anyone. I don't tell people when they have hurt me. I don't tell people when they are in the wrong. When it counts the most I pretty much clam up. I take "go with the flow" to the extreme and go to great lengths to not make waves.
This isn't good. I need to work on this aspect of my life. I have a situation brewing with netball where I need to tell one of my players (not you Lightening!)Did everyone notice that link!!!
Ok, sorry, back to the subject. We have established that I have an issue with one of my netballers who isn't Lightening (showing off now!). We are about to enter finals. I have 11 girls for 7 positions on the court. Up until now I have been rotating off the bench and giving all the girls a pretty fair run. This girl is the weakest player on the team, and I really don't want to play her on grand final day if we make it that far. But that would mean I would have to tell her, and that would bring about a confrontation with her mother(who is very confrontational and scary). So, I will probably play her rather than put myself in that situation. I just hope it doesn't mean we lose....that's another thing I don't like much...losing.
So, I think I will pray and ask the Lord to just help me and lead me to do what is best for all concerned and really hope that He doesn't tell me I have to confront someone because that's just too...well...confronting!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sharon the Avoider
Posted by HisPrincess at 10:19 AM
Labels: confrontation, netball
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11 valued opinions!:
Sharon, you sound so like me. Maybe we can keep each other accountable!
So long as we don't have to confront each other! ;)
Well - you linker you! I'm so proud, and well ADHD will be too. I think you just want a certificate too. haha.
On to the topic at hand. We all hate confrontation - and especially with scary people!! But sometimes we have to step up to the plate - and we GROW from it. God is growing you - I just know it. Hang in there.
Did I mention what a great job you did linking? I never SAW SUCH a link. Oh, nevermind.
Food for thought?.... So what is the worst possible thing that could happen if you have to confront someone?
Onto the netball.....Yes grand finals are about winning.... so is all sport for most who play! However maybe the player you are concerned about needs to be included..... maybe she will rise to the challenge of the day... after all, she is part of your team and has probably been so all season.. so should anyone miss out on playing? What if some offered not to play to make way for others... ?
Wow that is so direct! I am not sure where that came from!
I feel for you as coach but also for the girl concerned.
Still think you are a great gun!
Lynette
Maybe you could ask some other coaches (of any sports) what their opinion is. I would think that this is something that coaches deal with occasionally and maybe one of them could offer you some insight.
And now....
"Link, Link, Sharon learned to link. Breakin' down the barriers, makin' her think.
Click this, don't click that, yeah you learned to Link."
I bet Chatty kelly didn't
know that when she mentioned this song that it would get used all week!
Congrats!!
Imagine this... another 'test' that God desires to teach you through. I don't like confrontation much myself, but your blog entry confirmed that I should write about my confrontration experience that just happened with me. I'm certain that God will give you wisdom. I do agree with Lynette. I know you will seek God's wisdom to know what He desires you to do ~ either not have this girl play (and deal with a confrontation) or decide that it's more about the team effort with everyone contributing and leave the winning and losing in God's hands... (now that may be an even tougher lesson for everyone to learn through).
Confrontation causes us to be really uncomfortable, but in every situation God is able to work in and through us and bring glory to His name (if we are willing vessels).
I love you, my friend! :)
Off subject: Is it raining there? My Yahoo weather forecast shows rain today and tomorrow for you... I'm still praying!
Kelly: Yes I'm proud of me too! And I worked it out all by myself...unlike some other people we won't mention! LOL!
Lynette: Its a really tough decision. I've been on both sides, having sat out for a grand final myself. The issue here isn't really the player but the mother who is very pushy, opinionated and confrontational and I have to admit she has just annoyed me to the point that I have a bad attitude about her poor daughter. Parents need to learn that abusing coaches does not get them what they want but kids shouldn't be punished for their parents behaviour. And you would think that I'm talking about a junior team here, but I'm talking about SENIORS. I don't expect to have parents of seniors getting in my face...hmmm. Seem to have touched a nerve here!
Mary: I have asked all the coaches I know and they have all said that I should play to win. And we all know what that means. I think deep down that's why I keep asking someone else, I don't like the answer I'm getting.
Joanie: No it's not raining but the clouds are building. The prediction is for rain tomorrow so keep praying!
Hello! I've just caught up on your more recent posts - you've been busy! I tried to visit the other day and my 'puter froze.
I hope your dental issues are all sorted...
Re, your 'weakest link' on your netball team, my little bit of advice would be to pray for the girl in question and definitely include her. Ask God to bless her with brilliance on the court for the day, and just watch what our Master does.
I am 'sub-lady' for our under 8's soccer team, I send children on and off the field for breaks. Our young coach is a great guy, but he told me to only sub the not-so-good players. I told him I wouldn't do that; ALL the children were entitled to play, each family had paid the same amount in fees, and isn't it about team spirit? The desire to win cannot get in the way of them learning, having fun, and developing a sense of belonging. And I think, no matter what age we are, we all desire a sense of belonging. So, I hope you don't mind my input, and I hope you do get to the finals and have a great game - with no issues to confront... All the best...
Hey another little linky linker! WooHoo! :D
I like what Naomi said. The main thing is to pray about it. But ask yourself this, would Jesus be more concerned over whether your team learns how to win or learns how to lose with a right attitude?
This reminded me of something Nicole C Mullen said at the WOF conference. I'm still a little foggy on everything that I absorbed but it's coming back to me a little. When she was younger she lacked in self esteem but she had a teacher who trusted her in a circumstance similar to what you are describing here. Even though no one else would have allowed her to take part, this teacher did and that encouragement is what she says gave her to confidence to do what she is doing today. It also inspired her into a great desire to encourage todays youth.
If you haven't watched my slide show on my WOF post, you might go have a look. Not that the slide show is so great but I want you to see that team of young people that she brought up on stage with her. Her heart was totally focused on encouraging them.
Then you might want to pray about having a delicate talk with her mom about the damage she is doing to her daughter by her forcefulness.
Ok, enough of my input. God Bless!
Awww...you gave me your FIRST link AND it's a pink one!!!! Mwah!!!! :)
Lightening sits at the other end of the spectrum. Her mum wouldn't give a hoot what you did to her. :(
As for the issue at hand.... I'm no help.
Did today make it easier or harder to work it out?
Joanie - are you the reason we're getting rain? Sounds like we needed to find you a couple of years ago!!!! :)
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