My Mum is proud of me!

I am 38 years old and today for the very first time my Mum actually said the words "I'm proud of you". After 38 years I can say that it's never too late. It's a moment I won't forget in a hurry.

Don't get me wrong, my Mum is a great Mum but not the demonstrative type. I know she loves me and I hoped that she was proud of me, but now I know! I didn't even realise that this is the approval I have been searching for my entire life! Talk about a light bulb moment.

I married someone who tells me how great I am all the time, I work for people who tell me that I'm doing a good job, I get recognition from the various committees and community events I'm involved in, but I've just realised that the one I really wanted to be proud of me is my Mum. In some instances we never really grow up do we.

I guess the lesson in there for me is to make sure I tell my kids when I'm proud of them and that I love them, don't just assume that they know. I'm sure they do know, but I'm also sure that they need to hear it.

Storm in a teacup

Hmmm, it seems I may have over reacted (not like me!). I got a note home from school today informing us of the change around with the math class. They are splitting them into "applied mathematics" (which the kids are calling dumb maths) and "pure mathematics" (smart maths according to the kids). Pink assumed she would be put into applied mathematics, and me, being the terrible parent that I am who has little or no faith in her daughter's abilities thought that was a reasonable assumption.

Well. Shame on me. The school has recommended that she do pure mathematics which means that while the work will become more difficult she gets to keep the great teacher. I rang the principal today and he was very lovely and told me that she isn't changing classes and the only person who thinks Pink is dumb is Pink. Well, yes, I did know that. So I was suitably informed when she came home and I didn't act surprised at all. I just said "of course they recommend you do pure maths, you have worked really hard this year so far and they know you can handle it". It was lovely to see her happy about school and seeing her be rewarded for her hard work.

The really hard work begins now though. Pure maths in year 10 is preparing them for university entry level maths in year 12. Its no walk in the park from what I remember (it wasn't that long ago!). I pray now that she will continue to grow in confidence and that she will learn and grow throughout the year.

A puzzle for you!

This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his John boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That’s a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, the Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, “the books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight.” Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found.

Umm, I won't tell you how many I've found but I had to print it out and use a highlighter pen. Drove me crazy! Enjoy!

....and another thing

This is all due to take place next week and what have we heard from the school? You guessed it. Big, fat, nothing. No note, no phone call, no consultation.

Right. I'm going now before I damage the keyboard.

School Grrrrr

We have found out today through our kids that the year 10 math classes are being shifted around. Last week they all did a test, and on the basis of that test they are being sorted into two classes which the kids are calling "dumb maths" and "smart maths". I don't have an issue with the concept. I do have a problem with how its been handled. Why form two classes and then shuffle them half way through the term after a test? It's not very subtle. All of these kids were at this school in year 9. Couldn't they have looked at last years results and set the classes according to that? Of course the school isn't saying "dumb math" but you can be pretty damn sure the kids are.

The thing that is really making my blood boil is that Pink will be changing teachers. She has struggled with math so much in the past and this year she has a teacher who she connects with. She was so excited today to come home and tell me that she got an A. She's never had an A in math and what she was really excited about was that she understood. That was so important to her. I've not heard good things about the teaching skills of the teacher who will be taking her for math and Pink has now pretty much decided that she is dumb. So what's the point. I'm giving myself a saw jaw from the teeth I'm clenching as I write.

In year 8 Pink's class had 5 math teachers so the whole class pretty much just marked time. In year 9 the teacher couldn't control a batch of furry kittens much less a class on 14 year olds, so again she learned nothing. This year I had hope. I'm just so disappointed. Its just not fair. Stamps foot. Ow.

Another day....

Well, for me Monday is almost over. It's my turn to finish work at 4.30pm this week which I love, especially during daylight saving where I have plenty of daylight left.

I'm off to squash tonight. Squash is Robbie's favourite sport at the minute (its' the awesomest, wickedest game ever!) so needless to say he is looking forward to it. I quite enjoy sitting back and relaxing while having a chat with the other mums. It's good wind down time. I might take the camera tonight and see if I can get a couple of shots of him playing. Not sure how it will go against the glass around the courts though.

I'm trying to make a committment to exercise more this week. Squash is played at a neighbouring coastal town so I might go for a walk along the beach while I wait for Robbie to play. Might. I might also get chatting and "forget" all about it!

I'm really thankful for the community in which I live where parents are willing to make the effort to be involved in their kids lives. We don't appreciate how lucky we are sometimes.

Boys will be boys...

Robbie outdid himself yesterday. He has had his new motorbike for about three weeks and has been getting faster and faster as he gains confidence on it. Yesterday he came unstuck. He was out in the paddock on his bike track that he's built with the help of his Dad over the past 5 years or so. He landed a jump awkwardly, says he hit a rock and he wasn't going too fast (honest). He may not have been going too fast by his standards but I'm thinking my standards and his differ slightly!

The good news (thankyou Lord) is that he did no damage to himself whatsoever. Not even a scratch or a bruise. The bad news is the bike now has its very first batch of scratches and he's bent the handlebars, which will have to replaced.

He walked home because after stalling it he couldn't get going again and thinking that he had done some serious damage to his beloved bike had worked himself up into quite a state by the time he arrived. It took quite a while to work out that he was upset because he thought he'd "killed" his bike, not because he was hurt in anyway. He's not admitting it but I think he gave himself quite a scare in the process.

Lets hope that this experience will slow him down, even if only for a little while!

So, I'm thinking that is quite enough excitement for one weekend!

Smiley Saturday

I haven't tried this linking business before so I hope I've got it right!

Lets see...things to smile about today.

I feel a bit mean but watching Robbie eating food processed hot chips is kinda funny and it did make me smile. We even added tomato sauce before processing so it looked sooooo appetising!

Pink practising her singing. I love listening to her sing, always makes me smile.

The beautiful prayer Joanie posted on my prayer journal. Brought a tear to my eye and also a smile.

The thought of friendship and fellowship of tennis this afternoon, also the thought of the looks of horror on all their faces when I whip out my camcorder!

The Name Game

I have decided to follow Lightening's lead and name my family members rather than constantly calling them DH, DS and DD.

So here goes. DH I will call Fisherman because that is one of his true loves. He is also a keen gardner but fishing is his number one passtime. He can spend hours out in the boat and not catch a thing and still count that as a really good day.





DS, I will have to call Robbie after his favourite motorcross rider Robbie Matterson. Barely a day goes by when he doesn't go riding, he's forever building new jumps, making old jumps higher and just generally frightening the life out of his mother.
Here he is on his green machine, which is pretty much the exact shade of green as the elastics on his braces. He does wear a helmet BTW, he's just posing for the photo here. Guess what colour his helmet is.






DD will have to be Pink. She loves to sing songs by Pink, she likes to listen to Pink, and her favourite colour is pink. She has a pink bedroom, pink playstation, pink camera and pink ipod. She has an affinity with Lightening and what a surprise, they are both pink girls!
Could this room be any pinker? Note I didn't include the floor, that's because you can't see it!




There is one other constant visitor to our home so he may as well be considered a family member and that is Pink's boyfriend. I will call him Patience because thats what he is when it comes to Pink. She is extremely high maintenance at times and he is very tolerant and understanding, almost like a third parent sometimes, one that she listens to!




So there you have it. You have been officially introduced to the family.

Poor Baby

DS is in quite a bit of pain today. His teeth are feeling "all tight and sore" and he can't chew. I have had numerous phone calls from him while at work (apparently Dad isn't sympathetic enough!) just looking for a bit of comfort. He's a pretty stoic kid so the fact that he is complaining tells me it really does hurt him, poor kid.

Does anybody have some ideas as to some soft food he can eat with minimal or no chewing? He has been eating custard, yoghurt, mashed veggies but is telling me he wants "real" food. I suggested just having a normal dinner only I would process it in the food processor. This idea didn't thrill him but maybe it will once he gets hungry enough! I also suggested buying him some baby food to which he siad "not funny Mum". His sense of humour seems to have gone out the window!

Hopefully it will settle down over the weekend. I'm not sure what I will pack for his lunch if he is still in pain on Monday.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Braces Day

I had a fabulous day today. I took a dear friend with me when I went to Port Lincoln to have DS's braces fitted. Before our appointment we browsed the shops, had coffee (and malteser cake mmmmmm), and just enjoyed each others company.

Even DS's appointment wasn't traumatic. I was a bit worried that it would be but all went smoothly. He is in a little discomfort now, but that was to be expected. He chose green rubber bands to match his motorbike (of course!). As you can see below they are a very bright shade of green!

He was a bit reluctant to open up for me so I could get a really close picture. I guess he's a bit sick of people checking out his mouth!

So, that was my day. Now all we have to do is pay for this very expensive mouth full! Don't you just love being a parent!

Sheep

A new blogging friend of mine has made me think about sheep. Now, being sheep farmers its surprising how little I actually think about them. They frustrate me when DH asks me to help him get them into the yards (this is not a good exercise for a fragile marriage, which luckily ours isn't!) They annoy me when I'm driving to work and I find that some have strayed onto the road. They only do this when I'm running late of course.

I'm thinking I should look upon them with a little more respect. I mean, with cereal farming the way it is we have depended on wool sales to keep us viable in the past few years. And, contrary to popular belief, they aren't nearly as dumb as people think. Ok. Maybe thats a bit rash. They aren't quite as dumb as people think. No. Sorry. They are. Can't gloss over that one.

But my point is that I've never really considered them in the biblical sense. Losing their way, in need on constant protection. Its silly really, I've listened to them referred to in this way, I've read it in the bible but I've never really thought about it. Or drawn that obvious conclusion that I am a sheep myself.

So now I know a little of how you feel Lord. I'm sorry for all that frustration and angst that I have caused you by continually losing my way or just refusing to take the obvious and correct path (and believe me, sheep are REALLY good at that!). I can't promise that I'll stop it, but at least now I'm aware of it. Help me to be a wise sheep, if there is such a thing! Baa.

Musings

I've just come to the realisation that I have done much reading, learning and thinking in the past few days but very little praying. Thats a bit of a downfall for me. I think about prayer, I write about prayer but I don't actually get down on my knees and pray nearly enough. I used to keep a prayer journal because I love to write but even that has taken a backseet since I've become more involved in blogging!

So, I'm thinking that I will use my blog as my prayer journal. It's basically the same thing. So I do apologise if I'm about to bore you with my prayers each day. I know, I could start up another blog! Thats what I will do, start up a prayer blog!

On another subject, it's raining today. Beautiful. After the heat wave we have been experiencing and the dust it is such a blessing. Thank you Lord, everything looks so much fresher already. Don't you just love the smell of rain, I especially love warm summer rain.

Ok. Time to get back to work!
God bless everyone.

Sorry

Thought I'd share something I found while browsing the web the other day. I don't know who wrote it but it completely spoke to my heart.

Loving Father, all the fancy words in the world expressed in eloquent prose decorated with emotion, spoken with conviction can not compete with a heartfelt 'sorry' when all other words fail. There are times when we are all too aware of our limitations, conscious of sin and the distance it creates between us. Sometimes 'sorry' is all the heart can bear to say aloud. It is only you who can read and understand the language of our hearts. Only you who can translate our 'sorry' into the prayer we would have prayed if we had the words within us. Then you forgive, and having forgiven surround us in and embrace of love, drawing us close to your heart as it was always meant to be. Thank you, loving Father that you listen to hearts as well as voices. Thank you.

It says it all doesn't it?

Contemplating

I've been pondering a lot lately on what is the Lord's plan for me. I'm a very practical person (well, I try) and I like to have clear directions. A comprehensive list of directions would be nice. Complete with step by step instructions and dot points. I do like dot points! I'm one of those people who likes order, and may be just a wee bit obssesive about labelling things. I find comfort in order and when things aren't clear to me and I don't know where I am headed I get a bit anxious. Well maybe more than a bit.

I've been checking out other peoples blogs and opinions and the ver clear message I'm getting is to stop seeking so much and stop and listen. But listen to what exactly? Does that mean I have to stop talking? Surely not?

If any of you wise bloggers out there have time to give me some advice (other than stop talking of course!) then I would dearly love to hear from you.

I just feel a bit like I'm drifting and I would love to have a purpose, something to acheive and strive for. And be sure that I m doing the Lords will.

I am trying so hard to be a good wife and mother, and a good example to my family. I am doing everything I can think of to help them come to the Lord but at times I get the sneaking suspicion that this is more for my benefit than theirs.

Dear Lord. Help me to be calm and not worry so much. Help me to be able to hear when you speak to me and allow you to speak through me. I'm just feeling a bit out of sorts with where everything is headed.
Please help me to be a good example to my family and lead by example. Help my daughter as she grows into a young woman, that she navigate the teenage years while keeping her integrity in tact and growing a love for you.
Help me to hear you Lord.
Amen.

Little Miss Productive

I'm feeling a bit smug at the moment. Yesterday after church DS and completely emptied his bedroom and started again. We even eradicated the dust bunnies from under the bed! We sorted through his old toys and threw away the broken and missing bits and put stuff out that he doesn't play with to be given away. He is most impressed with the end result. We moved some furniture arund and his room feels much bigger now.

I was on a roll then so I tackled DD's room (which surprisingly didn't take much!) and then I got REALLY energetic and tidied MY room. I generally just shut the door of my room. Keeping my room tidy has never been one of my strong points (just ask my Mum!) but I'm thinking it's time to start practising what I preach! I'm forever telling the kids to tidy their rooms!

So then feeling suitably pleased with myself I spent the rest of the day laying on the lounge with a cool drink and a good book.

Its such a nice feeling to know that your house is REALLY clean. I mean my house is usually tidy but yesterday I went above and beyond, moving furniture (and finding interesting "treasures") and sorting through cupboards. It's a great way to start the week. Can't promise I'll be doing it every weekend though!

To Encourage or not to Encourage

My teenager daughter loves to sing. And I think she has a lovely voice, but I'm her Mum, that's my job. My dilemma is that she has decided that she would like to pursue a career in singing. Now I'm wondering if she is (a) good enough (b) tough enough (c) determined and committed enough. I want to encourage her to follow her dreams but I also want to protect her from getting hurt (also my job). The entertainment industry is well known for chewing people up and spitting them out. She is so fragile at times and we have had a real battle with self worth and self esteem with her. I can't imagine the amount of knock backs she would get in that industry would be good for her. But who am I to say she can't follow her dream? If she has the courage to do so then I should be all for it. Right?

Why can't she settle for something safe and not far from home where people don't judge you on the way you look, sound, dress.

What I would really like is for someone to tell me if she is good enough. I mean I think she is, but like I said earlier, I'm her Mum.

There are no easy answers here.

Dear Lord, I pray that watch over my daughter and as she follows her dreams that you protect her and help her learn and grow. I pray that one day she can know the true joy of singing for your glory as I truly believe her voice is a gift from you.
Amen.

Controlling my emotions

Its hard keeping a lid on things sometimes. Today I have been short tempered, sullen and barely spoken more than one word at a time all day. My family is wary of me, they all have that hunted look about them. I know DH knows something is up but he hasn't asked which is probably a good thing because I'm not sure I'd tell him the truth.

When I commited myself to the Lord and to regular church attendances DH wasn't happy, he was threatened and jealous of the time I spent away from him and mostly scared that I would become like his parents and start nagging for him to come with. Its been a real concerted effort on my part to not do that and today Iam dissapointed in all of them ("them being my family") but unable to tell them why because that falls into the nagging category, and although I'd like DH to know that his lack of support for me really hurts sometimes I fear telling him for starting an argument. I loathe confrontation. Will avoid it at all costs.

Today is a special day in our church. The daughter of one of my dearest freinds is being confirmed. She (my friends daughter) is also one of my daughters closest friends. I gently reminded DD that it would be a good idea to attend today as it is a special day for her friend but this had no effect whatsoever. She asked me to tell her she was sorry and that she would make it up to her.

So, because by this time I was all hurt, wounded and feeling sorry for myself I didn't go either. Partly because I'm just have a good old sulk (which isn't making me feel any better dammit) and partly because I really don't like attending big occasions at church like that alone. It makes me feel really.......alone.

And now I've gone and done what DD has done. Let a friend down by not attending and offering my congratulations and love on what is a very special and important day for her family. What a hypocrite.

Since all else seems to have failed (I thought writing this down might make me feel better) I'm going in search of chocolate. Might have to settle for a milo since that is all I have in the house.

On the up side my house is very tidy. Anger and frustration makes me clean.

Dear Lord, help me to not get so hung up on my expectations of what my family can give me. I know its unfair to expect things from them that they cannot give, and selfish. I pray that they can one day come to know you and love you. Please watch over them and speak to their hearts. Please also watch over me and help me reconcile these feelings of hurt and guilt. I pray as I enter a new week that I can allow you to speak through me and that I can listen and understand the lessons you give me. Amen.

Just Rambling Really

Hello.

Not much to report for the past few days so I thought I'd just log in and see what happens.

Went shopping today with DH and DS. DS needs to have braces and today was the appointment where they take an impression (gross seaweedy tasting stuff apparently) and get him measured up. His bands go on in two weeks time. The catch is he has a wobbly baby tooth that he is supposed to be wriggling out. He's a bit reluctant, says it stings and he hates the taste of blood. Its pretty loose so hopefully it will come out on its own in the next week or so.

DH spent the day looking through motorbike shops. I spent the day looking through op shops. I got a gorgeous pair of Roxy brand three quarter pants for DD. Paid $1 for them and they look brand new. I went to the Red Cross op shop which I haven't visited before. Small but very well managed and clean. My favourite one, St Vinnies is closed on Mondays so I've made a note to myself to not make any more othodontist appointments on Mondays!

The boys found their dream bike of course. Now they just have to sell DS's old one which he has grown to big for. Shouldn't be too hard, its in great condition and motorbikes that size in good order are pretty rare.

I went back to church yesterday for the first time since Christmas. I felt a bit "out of it" as there were people there that I hadn't caught up with in a while. The service was good, although since I had managed to get DS there without bribery I would have liked it to be a bit shorter. He was bored silly at about the half way mark. I wish people wouldn't ask me where the rest of my family is. It makes me feel such a failure as a wife and mother that I haven't managed to get them there. That is silly I know. There isn't a great deal more I can do in that respect, just pray and lead by example. It would be nice to be welcomed just for me without the question of where are the rest of you. I don't think people are being intentionally hurtful. But surely they should know by now that whoever I can manage to get there on a Sunday is all I can manage. Sometimes its hard to get ME there!

So, onto another week. The diet isn't going well. Tomorrow I shall start again.

Dear Lord, help me to be patient with my family as I pray for them to come to you, and help me to not push it because it's what I want. All things will happen in Your time. Help me to understand and be patient.
Thankyou for my children's good start to the school year. They are both happy and healthy at the moment and I truly thank you for that blessing.