I have always had an issue with forgiveness. I freely forgive others, it is myself who I feel is unworthy at times.
I have improved in this area with the help of a lovely Christian counselor, and some wonderful friends, but I can feel myself slipping again. I don't know why I find it so hard to accept grace. It's a big hurdle for me. I try to be a good Christian, but I can't be perfect, and therefore I feel I am unworthy of being a child of God. I worry constantly that I am too evil to go to heaven.
Father, all the fancy words in the world expressed in eloquent prose, decorated with emotion, spoken with conviction cannot compete with a heartfelt "sorry", when all other words fail. There are times when I am all too aware of my limitations, conscious of sin and the distance it creates between us. Sometimes "sorry" is all my heart can bear to say aloud. It is only You who can read and understand the language of my heart. Only You who can translate my "sorry" into the prayer I would have prayed if I had the words within me. Then you forgive, and having forgiven surround me in your embrace of love, drawing me close to your heart as it was always meant to be. Thankyou, loving Father that you listen to my heart as well as my voice. Help me to understand and accept what it truly means to be saved by grace.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Forgiveness
Posted by HisPrincess at 6:32 PM
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6 valued opinions!:
You are precisely right! You ARE too evil to go to heaven. I think realising that was a turning point for me. I am NOT good enough. Not to get into heaven. Not to be used by God in any way. God doesn't have levels of goodness. He just has good and evil. We fall under "evil" except for the fact of the Cross which has paved the way for God to even be able to look upon us. Instead of "good" and "evil" I tend to think of it as "God's children" and "not God's children". It takes away the "am I REALLY good enough for God?" Remember, God works in spite of us NOT because of us. {{{HUGS}}}
Thanks for that. I fall into the trap of feeling that I have to pass some kind of test, and that I am failing everyday.
I'm with you, but the thing is when you realize how much you need forgiving that means you see yourself rightly. I sinner saved by grace.
The other thing I remind myself of is David, that man made some big mistakes just like me, but God called him a man after his own heart. Gives me hope!
Jen
Thats a great point Jenny, thanks for that! David is someone I shall definately remember in future when I am feeling worthless. He is such a great example of the extent of God's forgiveness and grace. Amazing.
Thanks!
Sharon ~
Once again, you've touched on a subject that I struggle with often. I do beat myself up over and over again even though I know in my head that I'm forgiven because of the grace of God and Jesus taking my sins upon Himself.
Lightening shared wonderfuly! What a great way to separate the anxiety of being good enough ~ I AM ONE OF GOD'S CHILDREN!
Do you know the song, Who am I? (by Casting Crowns, I think. Not so good at knowing music groups and such.) Go to: http://www.freedwings.com/whoami.php and listen for youself. I play this song whenever I begin to doubt myself and how much God loves me, because of who He is!
Thanks so much for your comments. It's nice to know that I'm not alone!
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