Thursday, July 23, 2009

I want to run away.

I'm serious! I really do want to run away.

Life is just bugging me at the moment. And rather than deal with it, I'd just like to run away.

There is nothing specific that I can really put my finger on. I think I'm just tired and feeling run down and unappreciated.

Work is getting busier and busier, with new responsibilities and tasks added here and there. Nothing major, but it builds up.

Nothing drastic has happened at home. The kids are relatively happy (as happy as teenagers get I imagine), Kym isn't stressing any more than usual about the rain, the crops, the weeds, the drought.

I think I've just reached a point where I either need to ask for help or fall into a heap. I feel as though I spend my life meeting other people's needs and demands. It feels like there is no one taking care of me, and I don't have time to take care of me because I'm spending all my time taking care of them.

Sigh.

I don't have any answers. I'm really really bad at telling people how I feel. Really bad. I don't like to admit to any kind of weakness. People comment to me all the time that they don't know how I do it. Well I don't know either. And I don't know how much longer I can go before the wheels fall off.

Like I said. I just want to run away.

14 valued opinions!:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear..wish I could put my arms around you and give you a big hug.
I know how you feel. I have found it so freeing to speak to someone outside of all your contacts..so you can speak your real mind and heart!Whilst talking can help, you must also be willing to change and allow God to help you through... ultimately He is the one who knows us best....

Praying for you

Lynette

HisPrincess said...

Thankyou Lynette. I've been browsing blogland this morning and come across so much encouragement and wisdom.

I'm still not really sure where to form here, but it's obvious that I need to look up.

Thanks for your kindness and support.

Edie said...

God will not let the wheels fall off Sharon. He will be your Strength. Not He will give you strength, but He will BE your Strength.

I will pray for you my friend.

Anonymous said...

I just came across this and wanted to share it with you...

I Asked God

I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole,
his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings
you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

Joanie said...

We are like two peas in a pod, aren't we? I know exactly how you're feeling. I think I've said the exact words you shared. How I wish I could fly you to my side of the world and then whisk us away to a lovely oceanside spa where we'd be pampered, massaged, well fed and could relax and soak in the quiet, peace, refreshing beauty of the place (can you see it yet?)

I don't have any answers, my dear friend. Only know that I am praying for you and trusting our amazing heavenly Father to work out the details you need right now.

I love the poem that was posted. I find the more I 'find time' to read my daily Bible each morning, the more it helps ~ though I'd still really love some spa time too...

I love you dear one! Wish my arms could reach all the way to South Australia and give you a much needed hug... I know ~ I'll ask Jesus to do it for me!

HisPrincess said...

Edie, thanks for the encouragement. I have trouble handing my struggles over to the Lord at times. Ok. ALL the time.

Lynette, thanks for that poem. Do you mind if I use that during my worship leading?

Joanie: I wouldn't care where in the world we are...what I long for at the moment is peace. And no timetable to adhere to, no deadlines to meet. Just peace.

Lightening said...

{{{HUGS}}} If it makes you feel any better, a frog just jumped on me in the shower. I had the tiniest moment of "I wanna go home". And life is supposed to be extra "good" for me right now. Goes to show you can't really "run away" from life.

I hope you can find some time for "you". You do do a lot of giving and it's important to refill the tank.

Leah Adams said...

My sweet friend,

I so understand how you feel because I have felt the very same way. You know, even Jesus didn't do it all. He had people to help Him and He knew when to walk away from the crowds that were pressing in and find a place to rest. As Beth Moore has said, "you cannot do a thousand things to the glory of God"--despite the fact that we women sure do try.

I encourage you to just take a break. Not walk away from your family but begin to pray about priorities. What are your top three priorities in this life? That is what I had to do and it has really simplified things. Anything that does not fit into one of those three priorities must be stopped. That means saying "no" to some good things.

I bet you are not the only one suffering. I bet, if your family got really honest, they are suffering too, cause when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Not sure if this helps or not. I'll be praying for you to find some peace and rest.

Leah

Skoots1moM said...

would love to give a hug...last year was a year like you're having. it is getting better, and i did get some help from my doctor...it's definitely ok to ask for help and it's NOT all in your head.
we women go through MAJOR body changes that no one can imagine unless you're enduring them, and they are TOUGH!...vitamin d and soy have helped me immensely, as well as cutting out a lot of white pastas and refined sugar.
praying you're feeling better soon :)

Rebecca said...

I'm very impressed by the good advice coming from all the loving hearts that surround us in "blog land". There is SO much wisdom here. I know that God's Holy Spirit can help you sort it out and find the rest for body, soul & spirit that you need. Remember the title of your blog....and the words of Jesus who said, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

HisPrincess said...

I'm overwhelmed by the care, concern and lovely comments from my blogland friends.

Thankyou everyone. You have given me lots to think about.

Anonymous said...

HI Sharon,
The poem was on the internet but didnt have the author so thats cool to use it if you want!

I also wanted to find this card i have at home that sits in the bottom of my new cards box,,, which I bought years ago at the airport but have never sent... i leave it in there so each time I go in to find a card to post, it stares at me to remind me... you will know why in a tad...

peace.
it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart..

It sounds a bit new agey but I think it is reality... we cant always run away from the struggles but its about being calm in the middle of the torrential rivers!! Not many good living examples of this around are there... i only know of one dear lady... my mum.. who simply hands all her concerns to God and trusts him implicitly for her needs...
I will miss her one day but her example I could well learn from now!!

love
Lynette

HisPrincess said...

Thanks for the quote Lynnette. I know of one lady who lives like this...she is a dear friend and such a great example to the rest of us!

You should start up a blog so that you can post all these wonderful gems for us all to see!

Anonymous said...

HI Sharon
Can't half tell i have a day off.. multiple postings in one day!!

I have thought about a blog but nor sure where to start... and i'd hate to feel bound to it... will see.... am afriad it may become a should!!! ha ha ha

Have a great weekend and enjoy some laughter too.

Lynette