Random Question

Edie's random question this week is "Why did you seek Him?"

That's a really good question.

I can't be sure that I did seek Him.

I wasn't brought up in a Christian home, but used to go to Sunday school as a kid because the church was just across the road and some of my friends went. I loved Sunday school, I loved school, so found Sunday school even more fun. No math! And lots of colouring and making!

One day I found myself in church for the service (Sunday school was before church then, not like now where it happens during the service). I'd never been to a church service before. I was handed a hymn book and I discovered another love. I loved to sing. I found the hymns easy to pick up and I just loved it.

Then I became a teenager. Enough said!

When I was 15 I met my husband Kym. He came from a Christian family. He played football for the same club as me, went to the same school, but he was from Verran. We viewed those from Verran as "a bit straight". My Dad called them Bible Bashing Wowsers. The thing that I found extremely attractive about Kym was that he was rebelling. He drank. He smoked. He had turned 18 and told his parents that he was never, ever, setting foot in a church again.

After dating for a while I got to know these "Verran Wowsers" pretty well. I found them to be caring, accepting and kind. They weren't straight at all. We had heaps of fun doing pretty normal teenage things, just didn't take it to the extreme. Before I knew it I had joined a Christian singing group and I was singing again and loving it. We performed at churches and concerts all over the state, and Kym was there, even when we sang in a church! It was a great time of friendship and fellowship but I didn't give myself over to the Lord. To be honest I didn't really believe it.

Time passed and Kym and I became engaged, and then married. I was still a member of the singing group, and still enjoyed the friendship that it brought. I had a nagging feeling though, that if they really new me then they would reject me. I drank more than they did. I had sex before marriage, and I know they didn't. I was part of a good group, but I wasn't really a good girl.

It wasn't for many years, after a close call with my marriage that I actively sought the Lord. Kym was struggling with his health, and I was starting to wonder what I'd missed by marrying so young, and marrying my first love. I started making bad decisions, neglecting my marriage and my children to stay out and socialise with my workmates.

Through all this I had one friend who believed in me. She listened. She didn't judge, and through her I started to seek a relationship with my Lord. I'm still in my infancy. I think I always will be. I wander, I stray, but someone or something always brings me back. I'm a pretty frustrating sheep I imagine.

After all this rambling I'm not sure if I've answered Edie's question. I really feel that the it was the Lord seeking me. He had to kick me a few times but eventually He got my attention. And He still has to kick me, pretty often, because I'm forever wandering off course.