Past Skeletons

While refueling my car yesterday I bumped into someone I never thought I'd see again. And to be honest I was happy with that scenario.

This person is the father of one of my school friends. She and I spent many happy weekends together in our teen years. Trish loved to come to our place, at the time I didn't see the attraction (other than me of course!) but I was to find out why she loved our home and family so much in later years.

Trish had a very strict family. They belonged to a religious sect and didn't approve of me on any level. They didn't have TV, weren't allowed to cut their hair and seemed (to me) to have a church meeting every five minutes.

It wasn't until we left school that I found out that Trish was being sexually abused by her father. She finally told her mother, who shunned her. The result was her parents rejecting her completely as well as her church, who took her fathers side. To cut a long story short, Trish ended up addicted to speed, anorexic, and having her children taken from her. She is doing well now, has her kids back, studying to be a nurse, but still has a deep mistrust of men. Her brother and sisters have been a wonderful support, as they also suffered the abuse and although it's taken many years for them to deal with it, they are all grateful to Trish for being the brave one who finally spoke out (she is the youngest).

I wasn't prepared for my reaction when I saw her father yesterday. I've not seen him since Trish has shared with me the horror of her childhood (no wonder she loved to come to our house!). I didn't recognise him at first, but when I did I felt ill. Then angry. Of course I smiled politely and said hello at the time, but in the car on the way home I felt such an intense hatred for this man that I surprised myself. He has completely gotten away with this abuse, as his children haven't officially reported it. And he looked so serene and smug. I've never felt the kind of animosity toward another human being that I felt yesterday. I wasn't aware that I was capable of it.

I have tried reminding myself that this man is a child of God, just like me. And that I have a pretty dark past myself and am certainly in no position to judge.

But I'm still very angry, and resentful, and ... I don't know... indignant. When I think back to the time when the abuse was happening I remember feeling in awe of Trish's parents. And so very disapproved of, and judged. I wanted them to like me, wanted them to approve of me, and all the time they were strutting about the community self righteously they were hurting the very people they should have been protecting. And then when Trish asked for help her mother didn't believe her and even worse, blamed her.

Dear Lord, please help me to deal with these feelings of resentment and anger. Thank you that Trish has managed to stabilise her life and get herself back on track. I pray that she will turn towards you again some day for support and guidance.