Objections

As most of you are aware, I am married to a man who won't come to church.

This has been something an object of frustration for me for many many years.

Last night Kym said to me that he really enjoys the company and gets along really well with all the people at our church. All of our friends are members of our church. He has known many of them all his life.

He just doesn't like church.

I pointed out that church has changed a lot since he was forced to sit in the pews for 18 years. We are a much more relaxed bunch now, and he said himself that he enjoys the company of everyone there.

He doesn't sing. When we all stand to sing he feels out of place.

I said that when I am worship leading I notice that quite a few of the men don't sing. It's not compulsory. You can still listen, hear the message and worship without singing.

He said he has never sat in that church and felt comfortable. He's never considered it a place where he wants to be. He never once in all the 18 years that he went to church every Sunday thought that "this is a good thing, I want to be here".

I commented again that church has changed since he was there.

While I don't think that this means Kym will be coming to church with me in the near future, the fact that he is willing to discuss it is a giant step forward, and fills me with hope.

Lord, thankyou that Kym feels he wants to talk to me about attending church. I pray that you will give me the right things to say in future discussions of this nature. This is the first time we've really talked about attending church without it turning into an argument and I thank you for that. Please continue to soften Kym's heart and help him to open it up to you.

I shouldn't be surprised but....

Would you believe that our sermon at church this week was entitled "Are you too busy for God?"

Do you think the Lord is trying to tell me something? :)

There was a great analogy that I'd like to share....

A little boy was walking with his family on the beach, collecting shells as he went, when he saw a beautifuly big starfish floating out in the water.

His father encouraged him to go grab it, it wasn't too far out so go right ahead. He ran a little way into the water but came back out, looking frustrated.

His father said "go on, go ahead and grab it, it's right there" So he went back into the water again and went a little further but then turned around and ran back out, looking really frustrated this time.

His father encouraged him again "it's right there in front of you, you were nearly there, just reach out and grab it". So the little boy went in again, this time getting right up to the starfish. He looked at it but came back out of the water again.

His father said "what's the problem? you were right there, just reach out and grab hold of it" to which the little boy frustratedly replied "I can't, my hands are full of shells".

That really opened my eyes. I am not fully committing my life to God. I beat myself up about not being a good enough wife and mother, but I don't commit my family to the Lord. I try to do good things in the community and be a productive member of society, but I don't seek the Lord's counsel on what I should and shouldn't be involved in.

I can't do everything on my own.

That's a bit of a revelation for me.

So, my new aim is to give myself, my life, my family, my everything to the Lord. Not just little snippets, everything, and trust him to take my life where He want's it to go.

"Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord for thee" The first line of a song (that I chose!) that we sang on Sunday. The chorus sings "Here am I, all of me. Take my life, it's all for thee." I chose to include that song in worship this week because it's a new one the congregation has been learning, and it sounds pretty. Well, that's why I thought I was choosing it. The Lord obviously had something to tell me...

Lord, help me to hand everything over to you, and to seek you in all things. Help me to hear your counsel, and be open to hearing your word. Help me to dedicate time during my day to spend with you. I committ my family to you now Lord. Help me to trust in you, and remember that you are the only one who cares for them more than I do.

Priorities and Commitments

Some comments on my previous post (thankyou ladies!) has made me think that maybe I should sit down and asses my priorities and commitments. I'm obviously spreading myself too thin and perhaps now is a good time to think about how I actually spend my time....


My job - it's full time, around 40 hours per week. Also uses a lot of my mental and physical energy and there's often not much left in the tank by the time I arrive home. I would dearly love to cut back on this, but that's not financially viable at the moment. Praying for some direction here, as I'd love a change, but if God wants me here, then I guess that's where I will be staying.

My family - they are also full time! The kids need to be driven to their sporting commitments, nagged to do their homework and clean their rooms, supervised on the computer (Scott mostly), and have their arguments refereed. I think poor Kym gets the least attention, because he can look after himself and I forget he needs me too. Of course there are the chores that everyone with a family has to do, washing (no Joanie, not ironing!), tidying, cooking etc.

My church - I worship lead around three months of the year. This involves planning songs, practising new ones, preparing the power point presentation, liasing with ministers/speakers and of course the important bit, actually worship leading on a Sunday. I'm also on our ministry team which meets monthly to oversee the general well being and pastoral care of the church, and I'm the secretary of the congregation which is a quarterly meeting. One term per year I teach Sunday school which to be honest I don't really enjoy so much anymore.

Our school - I am on the governing council committee for our school, which meets monthly. I am also on the school uniform committee which meets when required, the IT committee and since I'm the treasurer of governing council I have to be on the finance committee.

My sport - I play, coach and umpire netball most Saturday's from April to September which takes a great deal of physical and mental energy each week. I love the game, but not the politics that come with it, or the way my body feels after playing. I know this is something I should be able to let go but haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. During summer I play tennis, and I'm the secretary of our tennis club. I'm also the captains wife so I generally write up the teams (because you can read my handwriting) and this has the added perk of having a say in who my doubles partner is! In Autumn and Spring I play squash with Scott (well, not actually with him, he's better than me so plays higher, but we go together). This happens on a Monday night after work.

Mary Kay with Steph - It feels like I have two jobs when this gets busy, but it has the benefit of being flexible, and we are able to do parties when we have time, or when we can make the time. Most Mary Kay parties are held on Friday nights or Sunday afternoons. I'm looking forward to summer as I will have more Saturday's free then.

Out of all that I'm thinking netball is the obvious thing to drop. Although I would still have to go on a Saturday to watch Steph and Scott play, and being there I would still help out with scoring, timing, umpiring etc.

Everything would be so much easier if I didn't have to work....but I do so I may as well stop sulking about it and toughen up.

I guess what I need to do now is pray about it. Try to work out what stays and what goes.

Lord, please help me to see what is important in my life and what isn't. Help me to prioritise my committments so that Iam able to best serve you and care for my family.

I want to run away.

I'm serious! I really do want to run away.

Life is just bugging me at the moment. And rather than deal with it, I'd just like to run away.

There is nothing specific that I can really put my finger on. I think I'm just tired and feeling run down and unappreciated.

Work is getting busier and busier, with new responsibilities and tasks added here and there. Nothing major, but it builds up.

Nothing drastic has happened at home. The kids are relatively happy (as happy as teenagers get I imagine), Kym isn't stressing any more than usual about the rain, the crops, the weeds, the drought.

I think I've just reached a point where I either need to ask for help or fall into a heap. I feel as though I spend my life meeting other people's needs and demands. It feels like there is no one taking care of me, and I don't have time to take care of me because I'm spending all my time taking care of them.

Sigh.

I don't have any answers. I'm really really bad at telling people how I feel. Really bad. I don't like to admit to any kind of weakness. People comment to me all the time that they don't know how I do it. Well I don't know either. And I don't know how much longer I can go before the wheels fall off.

Like I said. I just want to run away.

Football Clubs

Football in our community is more than just a sport. For those who don't know God(and for a few that do) it's a religion. People feel very strongly about it.

Our family are members of the Rudall Community Sports Club. This is a family oriented club, where we play netball, football, tennis, cricket and softball. We have a great sense of community. We look after each other and support one another. I love this club where I have grown up and where my children have grown up.

Our arch rivals are Cleve. For as long as I can remember we have loved to hate Cleve. But for the most part it's been a friendly rivalry which has remained on the field.

I'm afraid that may be about to change....

Cleve have in the past few years really started to struggle with numbers. Their senior football are having trouble finding two teams each week. Their solution is to amalgamate with Rudall.

Cleve and Rudall are so different in their makeup, and their philosophy, and their priorities.

Cleve are successful on the field, but not doing so well off it. Their netball and football clubs are seperate entities and don't talk to each other. Their club is run as seperate little clubs. On a Saturday night after a home game the Cleve football club is empty by 7.30pm. Their clubroom is old, rundown, and in need or replacement.

Rudall hasn't won an A grade football premiership since the 70's. But they have plenty of players who love being there. All the sports played at Rudall are managed and supported by the club as a whole. They are a community with young families and have built a fantastic facility where everyone is made to feel welcome. On Saturday nights after home games we have quiz nights, mouse races (I kid you not!), live bands and we serve home cooked, inexpensive meals to encourage families to stay and interact and enjoy themselves.

Both of these clubs have people that are passionate about them. We have one club who are getting it right on the field and one getting it right off the field. And I think that's because we have different priorities. Rudall is about community involvement. Cleve is about winning. I'm not sure you can combine the two.

What I do know is that this has the potential to completely divide the community because there are people on both sides who feel very strongly about their point of view and who aren't willing to listen to one another.

And that's bad.

We are already suffering from a drought. We need to be supporting each other and not tearing each other down over a game of football, where it should be played, and who it should be played for.


Lord, please help those who make the decisions for both these clubs see beyond their own opinions and be open and honest with each other for the good of the community. Please don't allow this to come between people and divide the whole community.

Ouch...

Oh the pain!

Just a quick warning...this post is going to be a whole lot of complaining so you have my permission to stop reading now!

On Saturday I played netball. This isn't unusual, I play netball most Saturdays, but this Saturday was different.

For those of you who don't know, I usually play in the goal ring, or on the wing. Stephanie is a centre. The centre is the person who runs. And runs. And runs some more. All they do is run.

We have a couple of girls who can play this position, as it's incredibly difficult to run out an entire game there.

On Saturday for the first time in two years we only had 7 players for 7 positions. This meant that Stephanie would have to play an entire game in centre, and she almost made it! She has been feeling a bit under the weather with a tummy bug for the past few days but seemed find on Saturday. Until the fourth quarter. She got head spins and felt really unwell.

No problem I thought. We can just put her in a position that doesn't run so much. I looked around me to see who I could swap her with. She can't play goals, or deep in defence because she is too short so I needed to swap her with one of the wings. Hmmmm. Oh dear. That would be me....

Waaaaaay back in the dark ages when I had two legs that worked I used to play centre. I loved it. It was my favourite position. But that was a long time (and about 10 kilograms) ago.

Surely I could manage a quarter. It's only 15 minutes!

There were sniggers from my "friends" on the sidelines as we changed position. There were comments about going to find the stretcher, or the defibrillator (this from a nurse!) and much snickering going on!

To cut a long story short, I did survive. But it was the LONGEST 15 minutes of my life! I thought I was going to DIE! And Stephanie had the cheek to point out that I was letting my player loose occasionally! RUDE!

We won the game by 10 goals and I was quite proud of my achievements in the end. I even got a the best player vote! Or a sympathy vote perhaps!

By 7pm I was struggling to walk, and getting up out of a chair was out of the question!

Today I'm still feeling quite a bit of pain in my "good" knee, and a normal amount of pain in my injured knee. I'm visiting the physio today (who was one of the sideline "sniggerers") to see if I'm doing any damage to my good knee. I'm worried that I'm putting too much pressure on it by favouring my bad leg too much, and it's going to be the next thing to go.

I only have about 5 games for the season. I'm hoping my body can hold it together for that long!

It's not about me...

I don't know about you, but "it's not all about you" is a sentence I find myself saying to my teenage daughter a lot.

But a post I read this morning (thankyou Leah) got me thinking...it's not about me either!

As a worship leader it's pretty easy to fall into the trap of thinking it is about you. I stand in front of the congregation on a Sunday, using my talents to serve the Lord. Well, that's how it's supposed to be. People come up to me after the service and thank me, congratulate me, and tell me I'm doing a great job. And that's where it would be really easy to fall into the self indulgent trap of self gratification.

There are a few in our congregation who love to listen to me sing, which is very flattering! They often comment that I don't always use the microphone while we are singing. I tend to only sing into the microphone when we are learning a new song, or to alert people when to start singing. I feel that if we are singing a well known song they don't really need me. Afterall they aren't there to listen to me.

Which is all very well....except I'm a singer. I love to perform. I enjoy being the centre of attention. And sometimes I find myself singing more new songs than well known ones and that's when I have to question my motives.

A church service is not a concert. We are there to worship our Lord, as one, as a family, not to listen to a worship leader who loves to perform....

I don't think there is anything wrong with loving to perform. There is just a time and a place for it.

Here is a quote from Charles Swindoll, that I read on Leah's blog this morning. It really spoke to me and reminded me that worship leading is exactly that. Worship.

“Humble yourself. Rather than racing into the limelight, we need to accept our role in the shadows. I’m serious here. Don’t promote yourself. Don’t push yourself to the front. Don’t drop hints. Let someone else do that. Better yet, let God do that. If you’re great, trust me, the word will get out. You’ll be found…in God’s time. If you’re necessary for the plan, God will put you in the right place at just the precise time. God’s work is not about us; it’s His production, start to finish. So back off. Let Him pull the curtains and turn on the stage lights.”

"If you are necessary for the plan, God will put you in the right place as just the precise time". Wow. There's a piece of humble pie Sharon. "IF" you are necessary.

As Michael W Smith says in one of my very favourite worship songs "It's all about you, it's all about you Jesus".

Lord, thankyou for giving me the gifts you have to enable me to lead worship for your glory. Please help me to remember that it really is all about you.