So far so good

Well my little girl had her first day of yer 10 yesterday. And she really enjoyed it. She doesn't have any teachers that she clashes with (yet) and enjoyed all her lessons (even math!). One of her biggest hurdles in life is learning when NOT to speak her mind. She got into trouble qute often last year for standing up for herself and what she believed in, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just needs a bit of fine tuning. Standing in front of the class and shouting at the teacher for losing your assignment isn't going to win friends. Said assignment was found by the way, the teacher had accidentally attached it to someone elses. He was also in the wrong as he found it after she had already re-done it and didn't have the courage to tell her himself, he got one of the other students to tell her. Which just made her even more angry with him and even more difficult to get along with.

My favourite little man started his last year in primary school yesterday. He goes to a very small school so nothing much changed for him. He has the same teacher, same classmates and same principal. He's not really enjoying school and is quite lacking in self confidence so that is something we really need to be aware and work on this year.

Dear Lord, I pray that both kids can do their very best this year, not only academically but also learn to get along with an array of different people and be a bit more tolerant and patient. I pray that they can foster healthy and rewarding friendships with their peers. Most of all I pray that they will get to know you better and learn to trust in you whenever they need a friend.

The great Weight battle

As you can see by the addition of a ticker to my blog that I've decided to make myself accountable about my weight. Its time to start the whole diet and exercise thing again.

So now you can all see how I'm going, each week I plan to update my ticker (be it good or bad!) and hopefully that will encourage me to be a bit more dedicated. Well thats the plan anyway.

All prayers, encouragement, advice greatly appreciated!

I would dearly love to go down two dress sizes, but one will do!

My Little Girl

I went to the airport to pick up my little girl (who's 15 by the way, but is still my little girl!) after her first holiday without Mum and Dad. She strode off the airplane, looking tall and gorgeous, sunglasses on head, handbag on shoulder. I felt really proud of her and more than a little bit sad. Here was my baby looking totally in control and not requiring her Mummy!

She had a wonderful time. She spent the car trip home telling us all about it and showing us photo's of her climbing giant logs, waterfalls and going jetboating. It was constant bubbly chatter and it was just so lovely to see her so happy and willing to share. Oftentimes in the past she has been non-communicative, sullen and depressed. I really feel that she is turning the corner and finally starting to feel worthwhile and worthy of being loved.

I just hope and pray now that as she starts her senior secondary years she can have a bit of faith in her abilities and a more positive attitude.

Dear Lord, I pray that as the new school year starts both of my children can have faith in themselves and make the most of their strenths. I also pray for the teachers, I pray that they can set a good example and be able to meet the needs of the children.
Amen.

I don't want to work anymore

Well, I don't mind working but I don't want to GO to work anymore. I just wanna stay home. I've been researching internet businesses on the net but it all looks really scary and most of them have that "too good to be true" ring about them. I don't want to make a ridiculous amount of money, I just want to be able to supplement our farming income (which takes quite a bit of supplementing at the moment!). We have financial commitments that make it difficult (although not impossible) for me to stop work and I have to admit we are quite comfortable financially at the moment and I am loathe to jeopardise that. I'm also the kind of person who needs to be doing something to feel worthwhile, and preferrably getting paid for it!

You know what I'd really love. An op shop/coffee shop/christian bookshop. We have one of those in our town but it is not very well run and I can see sooooo much potential just not being realised. I love op shops but ours is so expensive its embarrasing, and there is heaps of junk which no one is going to buy, it needs a serious clean out. I don't think our town is big enough for me to start up in competition but I just love the idea of being able to come in browse knick knacks, books, maybe some craft or home made goodies and have a cuppa. Bliss.

Plans

I think I need a large neon sign that says "THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO" and then of course it will tell me what to do. I have a very definite feeling that I need a change, and I would like that change to be in keeping with the Lords plan for me. But I'm not sure what the Lords plan is, I know that the job I applied for isn't part of the Lords plan for me, since I didn't get it. And I have to say that I was more relieved than dissapointed so obviously the Lord really does know what is best for me. Of course he does. Silly me.

So I guess my plan of action is to wait and listen and be open to new opportunities. That is so not me! Wait? Listen? That would mean that I would have to stop talking (!) and be patient (!!). Sigh.

Dear Lord, I pray that I can have the patience and understanding to know and recognise when you are talking to me. And then have the courage to act on your instructions.
Amen.

The dreaded job interview

I've not had much experience with job interviews. I've had two interviews for two jobs and remained at both jobs for quite a long time.

I don't think this one went well. I faced three people and a barrage of unexpected questions. I didn't really feel well prepared and I hate that. But I shall leave it to the Lord and we will see what happens. I asked about the three year contract thing. They said that normally contracts are just rolled over for another three years, which I'm guessing means that they only do that if they like you! Fair enough I guess. Although three years is a long time to put up with someone you don't like! Anyway. Like I said I don't really have a good feeling about how it went so I'm not going to think about it too much.

Its my last day of holidays today and back to work tomorrow. I'm almost looking forward to going back to work. Almost. I'm looking forward to feeling useful and getting back into my routine but I'm not really looking forward to the job itself. Which is why I'm on the lookout for a new one of course!

Before my job interview I had to drive 120km to put my DD on an airplane to Adelaide, and then on to Hobart. Its her first time away from Mum and Dad alone so she was a bit apprehensive. She has gone to stay with her BF and his Mum for the last week of school holidays. I think the little flirtation with independance will do her good. She's very dependant on me to organise her so I'm hoping she will learn to rely on herself a little. Not too much of course. She is still my baby afterall.

Dear Lord, I pray that I made a good impression at my job interview today. I'm still a bit in two minds as to whether this is the right job for me or even if I can do it so I pray that the outcome will be of your choosing and what is best for me. I also pray for my daughter as she travels out into the big wide world on her own for the first time. I pray that she is able to feel comfortable and in control and that enjoys the feeling of independance, rather than fears it as she does now.
Amen.

Time to get back into it!

Our holidays are over. I have to say I'm pleased to be home. We had a lovely time but I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed and I have to admit I really missed my cats. Yes I'm going to be one of those crazy old cat ladies! Come to think of it, I probably already am one of those crazy old cat ladies!

I managed to meditate once! I really enjoyed it and can see it as a lovely calming and spiritual way to wind down. Its just a matter of finding some quiet time where I won't be interrupted. That is always a challenge! I ran up the beach twice, but walked up and down it quite a few times. The important thing is that I had a lovely break and feel refreshed and ready to get back into life.

I applied for a new job last week and have just had a phone call (yes! on a Sunday!) asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow. It's all happening a bit fast since I only put my application in on Wednesday last week. I'm not even one hundred percent sure I want this job. What I do know is that I don't want to "mark time" any longer in the job that I am in and I'm ready for something new and a bit of a challenge. The scary thing is this is a three year contract and at the moment I have a full time job which is quite secure. I know that I need to give it to the Lord and trust that whatever happens is part of His plan for me and it will be what I need. Knowing that and feeling comfortable doing it are two completely different things! Of course there is also the whole issue of stepping out of my comfort zone. This job, while still clerical, is completely different from the one I have been doing for the past 15 years. Scary, scary, scary..............

So, thats where I'm at. If anyone has the time I'd appreciate a prayer or two!

Lord, help me to know that whatever is in store for me is part of your plan. I pray that this job is the right direction for me and that I can learn and grow from the experience.
I'd also like to pray for my daughter as she enters a new school year. I pray that she can continue on with the glimmer of dedication we saw at the end of last term and grow in maturity and faith. Come to think of it, I'm sure I need to grow in maturity and faith too!
Amen.

Holidays

Today is my last day at work! Yay! On Monday I start two weeks holiday at our "shack" at the beach. The rest of the family is there already, I have been travelling from there to work each day this week.

I look forward to this time every year. This year I'd like to remind myself how lucky I am to have accommodation right on the beach (even if we do have to share it with the in-laws!). I hope to make good use of my time there this year. I would like to really take some time out and just be. I've bought some meditation cd's which I have put on my MP3 player and the plan is to spend some quiet time each day in prayer and meditation. In the past I have spent this time socialising, shopping, sweeping sand, feeding ravenous kids, sweeping sand again, washing, cleaning, ferrying kids about and I go back to work feeling even more tired than when I started.

So this year I'd like to spend some time in rest, prayer and reflection. I'm not sure where it will lead but I'm excited to find out what develops!

Dear Lord,
Help me to learn to slow down and not get caught up in every day stuff that keeps me away from spending time with you. Help me to shift my priorities and remember that nothing will work until I learn to stop trying to do it all on my own. Help me to rely on you and trust in you. I pray that I can spend my time off learning to be still and just listen.
Amen.

Setting Limits

As I have mentioned before I have a teenage daughter who has a steady boyfriend. For the most part Iam ok with this (its not like I have much choice!). Our family is holidaying at the moment at the beach and BF has been invited to stay with us. I didn't foresee the amount of time they would spend together to the exclusion of all else. In a way its sweet how devoted they are to eachother but I have to admit it's really starting to get on my nerves. I am the WORST parent in the world because I have said they aren't to spend any time alone in the bedroom together. We share our holiday house with another family and the whole lot of us sleep in the same room (except BF, he's on a swag on the lounge room floor). I'm really struggling with setting limits that we can both work with and accept. To be honest I'm really struggling with setting limits at all. I'm so new to this! I don't know what I'm doing! I want her to be responsible for her own decisions but I also want to stop her from making any bad ones. And her idea of a bad decision differs quite a bit from mine! Honestly, I just didn't realise it was going to be this hard. I apologise profusely to my Mum for putting her through this!

Dear Lord. I really need your help here. Help me to find the right words to help my daughter understand that I only want what is best for her and my only aim is to protect her. Help her make wise decisions and respect herself.
Amen.