A new year is coming

So where did the last one go? I thought I might make a list of what I've achieved this year to inspire me to bigger and better things next year.
Now. Lets see.

• I didn't get any fatter. I only got mildly thinner but at least no fatter.
• I survived having three teenagers in my house (sometimes four with the boyfriend included) withouth committing any murders.
• I am learning to live with the fact that my little girl has a steady boyfriend. EEEEK!
• I started a creative writing course. Just for me.
• I had moments of tolerance and patience and I think I've come a long way in stopping and thinking rather than just reacting. Just need to teach this skill to DD now!
• I feel that I have moved forward in my faith.
• I finally took the leap and started worship leading, and it wasn't scary! I'm loving it!
• I'm not beating myself up about past transgressions anymore and I'm well on the way to truly believing that I am forgiven. That giant leap required the love of a beautiful friend (thanks Jodi) and a lovely Christian counselor.
• My house is tidy most of the time!

So, that was this year. My aims for next year are:

• To write in my prayer journal and spend time reading the Lords word at least three times a week (not including church!)
• To finish my writing course, and maybe attempt something to be published.
• To support my family and help them to get to know the Lord as I do, without nagging, sulking or bribing (these methods I have tried already with limited success).
• To leave the above to the Lord and let him speak through me.
• Lose another 5kg.
• To appreciate the things I have and be grateful.
• To tell my family and friends that I love them, not just at Christmas time.

Right. I think thats enough. Should keep me busy for the year! I will check back in a few months and see how I am doing!

So thats that then...

So now we have the boxing day blues. We all feel fat, tired and bloated, and just a wee bit grumpy.......ok, maybe more than a wee bit.

After the long drive home I'm really struggling with patience and tolerance today. Everyone is annoying me, for just being themselves really. Its not entirely fair but it is what it is.

I have been harrased by inlaws several times via mobile even before arriving home about new years and weekend plans. I just want to spend some time at home before I think about the next round of planning, packing and preparing. And I know it sounds uncharitable (because it is uncharitable) but I just don't feel like dealing with the in laws. I want to relax and just let whatever happens happen. Not possible with them, the pedantic planners, demanders, organisers and boss arounders. To be honest I don't really want to deal with anyone at all at the moment. Curling up with a good book and my cat sounds pretty blissful at present.

And I might just do that. Right now.

Lord I pray for peace of mind at the moment. Help me to tolerant and understanding of other peoples needs at this time when I'm feeling tired and harassed. I realise that I am not capable of doing this alone.
Amen.

Priorities

Its not a merry Christmas for everyone is it.

We are spending our Christmas this year with my parents who live about 41/2 hours from us. Today as we were preparing our traditional Christmas dinner, Mum (who is a volunteer ambulance officer) was called out. She had to pick someone up from the hospital in town and ferry them to the RFDS (that's Royal Flying Doctor Service) airstrip to be flown out. They were having a psychotic episode and couldn't be calmed or contained in the small local hospital.

It brought me back to earth a bit. How lucky am I. I have a family who loves me, a safe home and a Lord who has forgiven me.

Thankyou Lord that you sent your only Son to save me. Today as I write I am so thankful that our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ came to the earth to save me from the sins He knew I was going to commit. Thankyou Lord for your Grace and Forgiveness. I feel truly blessed. Help me to remember the true meaning of Christmas everyday and not get caught up in the festivities and business but take time to contemplate what a gift you are to me. The best present of all came wrapped in swaddling cloths and lay in a manger. Help me grow closer to you and I pray that I can let myself be an instrument of praise for you. Amen.

So Tired

It all gets a bit much at this time of year doesn't it. We have just been to Adelaide for some Christmas shopping and appointments. I do love the city but I find it so exhausting, not to mention expensive. It was my daughter's 15th birthday while we were there so we took her out to tea and saw a movie. We also went Go Karting, Watersliding and visited the driving range so DH could test out his new driver.

Needless to say that after the 5 hour drive to get home I'm a bit of a wreck!

Tonight I have to wrap and sort presents, unpack and repack clothes ready to go to my parents for Christmas, who live about 4 hours away. I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Its so easy for me to get caught up in the flurry of activity and forget what its all about. We also have five immediate family birthdays in December (mine included) so I think its time I just took a moment and reflected on my Lord and Saviour.

It took almost hitting a sheep this morning on the way to work to make me remember to thank the Lord for my blessings in life.

Thank you Lord that you are ever faithful and watching over me. Even when I'm not giving you a second thought. I pray that I can remember to be thankful and count my blessings every day. I pray that my husband and children can have some understanding of what you have done for them, for all of us and that they can come to know and love you.
Amen.

Lightbulb moment

A friend shared a quote with me today. It was a quote from Billy Graham which is "I've read the last page of the Bible so I know its all going to be ok". I love it! I thought I would share it via email with one of my coworkers, so I emailed it off and thought nothing more of it. Until I got a return email. He was so grateful. They were exactly the words he needed to hear. I did tell him that I couldn't take the credit, I was just the messenger afterall. But it did give me a warm fuzzy. It's not often that I am able to act on an "impulse" like that and have it confirmed that I have let the Lord work through me.

Lord, I pray that each day I can become more in tune with your teaching and hear you when you speak to me and through me.
Amen.

I know I promised but.......

I get so cross at myself sometimes. I set myself a small goal this week. Give a few moments to the Lord each morning before I get up to commit my day to the Lord. Such a worthwhile goal but do you think I have managed it? No. The first thing I think is "what time is it" closely followed by "what day is it" then I run through the grumblings and mumblings of getting up, getting dressed for work, getting lunch packed for the kids, getting us all out of the house. Its all about me and what I think I need to achieve. And trust me, in the morning none of this is done with a grateful or thankful heart!

So......tomorrow is a new day. I shall try again, and again, and again until one day I can make a daily devotion daily!!!!

Thankyou Lord for your patience with me. I pray that I can greet each day with thanksgiving in my heart and continue throughout the day to live for your glory.
Amen.

Riding the Rollercoaster

That's what parenthood is really isn't it. A rollercoaster. I have two kids, 12 and 15. Princess 15 is for the most part a delight to be around. She is witty, charming and has moments of selflessness and can be so giving. Then there is the "dark" side. I find that our whole family rides the emotional rollercoaster with her. When she is happy, we are all happy! Its just like when she was a baby and toddler, only now we can, on occasion reason with her. I never realised that parenting a teenage daughter would be so scary. I'm really reluctant to let her go and make her own decisions, I so badly want to protect her from any (and there were many) mistakes that I made. I know in my head that this is an issue that I need to hand over to the Lord, but I even struggle to entrust her to Him! How silly is that! It's like I'm saying "no thanks Lord, this job may be a bit big for you, I'd better handle it myself" This week I'm going to try and pray for my lack of faith in my ability as a parent and my lack of trust in the Lord.

Lord, help me to build my faith in you. I pray that my daughter can grow into a lovely young woman with a firm faith and trust in you. I pray that she can endure the turbulent teenage years with her self esteem in tact and with a growing relationship with you.
These things I commit to you.
Amen.

That perfect tree.

Well its really starting to hot up now isn't it. Tinsel everywhere. I bought a new Christmas tree this year. I've always wanted one of those nice ones, like the perfectly decorated trees you see in the catalogues. I've always had to resist the urge to "fix" the decorating job that the kids do on the tree. Now that I have my perfect tree and my kids are old enough to decorate it accordingly I find myself missing that slightly scraggy, lopsided tree with no decorations any higher than two feet.

Funny how we look forward to something and we forget to enjoy the journey. I've decided to just enjoy every day that I have with my kids. Before I know it they will be gone and I will miss them terribly. At the moment thats kind of hard to imagine but I'm sure it will hapen!

Unequally Yoked

Its pretty hard being unequally yoked. I sit in church some days and find it really difficult to not feel jealous of the whole families. I fail sometimes and then feel even worse.

I am coming to realise that I want my husband to come to church as much for my benefit as for his. I want to be one of those women sitting in the pew with her whole family.

I am learning to leave it to the Lord but its hard. I am going to try to pray and lead by example and leave the rest to the Lord.

Dear Lord. I pray that I can be a good example to my husband and children. I pray that if the opportunity arises for me to speak about you that I can speak wisely and for your glory.
Amen.

New Beginnings

I met a wonderful lady this week. She is helping me to see that I can't be perfect and that no matter how hard I try I will not be worthy of God's love. I knew this already of course but I'm learning to accept that this is normal. NONE of us are worthy and yet we are still loved and forgiven. How awesome is that?

Grace is an amazing thing, we don't deserve it and yet we still receive it.

To be honest I'm still struggling with this concept a bit. There must be a catch. It all seems a bit too easy, I deserve punishment not forgiveness.

Dear Lord, thankyou for your grace and your forgiveness. I pray that I will continue to grow stronger in my faith and come to fully accept what it means to be forgiven. Thankyou for sending wonderful people to help me with my journey.
Amen.