I have decided that letting go sucks.
It's too hard. I don't want to do it. I am refusing to participate.
This morning I waved goodbye to Steph and her best friend as they headed off to Whyalla to see a movie. All alone. In her own car. Whyalla is a 150km drive and is one of our nearest cities. It's an easy city to drive in, nice wide streets, not too busy. Steph has driven there before...with me.
It was just two girls going out for a fun day together.
And yet I felt physically ill. I have been see-sawing between panic and prayer all day.
I'm a bit surprised at myself. I've never been the hand wringing type. Until now obviously.
They are still in Whyalla at present. Steph has her singing lesson at 6.30pm, which means she will be traveling home at dusk, contending with trucks, headlights and kangaroos. The horrific possibilities are endless, and I can't stop myself from imagining the worst.
Is this normal? Am I a complete basket case?
A very wise friend reminded me today that they are in God's hands, and that he is a much better parent than me (thankfully!). I know this and still I worry.
I will continue to worry and pray until she is home.
I'm hoping it won't be this bad every time she takes a step away from my protection. It's my job to protect her. It's not a job I'm ready or willing to give up!
She may be almost 17, with a licence, a car, responsibilities and a job. BUT SHE IS STILL MY BABY!!!!
Someone get me a paper bag....panic panic panic panic.......
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Letting Go
Posted by HisPrincess at 5:48 PM
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7 valued opinions!:
She's home!!!! I'm never letting her out of my sight again!!! That's not an over reaction is it? No? Maybe. I sure hope this gets easier.
KIds.... cars.....mums..... other cars.. its all a concern hey?
It takes a lot not to worry doesnt it yet God asks us not to worry because life is out of our control and in His!He has it all under his belt yet we still think we deserve to worry.. Strange hey? What is it that really stops us letting go and letting God.... ?
Deep for Friday night yes but we all struggle with same issues Sharon..
Love your honesty though!
Lynette
Great post, Sharon! I know the feeling all too well... It's terrifying letting your children grow up and make choices and not be there to protect them (hopefully) from great harm. It's a lesson I've been learning day-by-day in so many ways this year. Our oldest son - though he lives at home - has a very busy schedule and often gets by on little sleep, little food and is driving all over our city area at all hours. Our daughter choosing to go her own way, moving several states away from her family and marrying a young man... Our youngest, Stephanie's age, who thinks he is much older. A new driver, but wanting to visit friends that live an hour+ north of us. And, he works in the city and doesn't want to always check in.
Yes, I'm learning to trust God more though my mother's heart doesn't know if it can take it. I think all mothers go through this ~ not wanting anything to happen to any of her children. And yet, we must keep a loose grip on them for we are stewards entrusted with precious gifts that truly belong to God. It's a tough lesson and I'm still trying to learn it...
Abundant blessings ~ Joanie
I so feel your pain; mine aren't driving yet, but I DON'T want to think about it!
That's why as moms we need to lift one another up before the Lord as well as our kids; we're all learning to trust and rest in God's plan.
With my little boys tucked up in bed - together in the one bed... they look SO cute!!! - I find it very hard imagining what will be happening 10+ years from now... "Let go, and let God" it says on the board down at the local school, and I guess, as well as training them up in the way they should go, as well as equipping them with skills and encouraging them in their responsibilities, and... and... and... oh, my goodness... I am so glad I have a God who gives me strength and peace. I'll be clinging onto Him, as you are, that's for sure...
My Husband is a very good, skilled driver, but unfortunately, momentary lapses in concentration occur, hence, when we go out, I drive... When he offers to take the boys out in the car though, which is very rarely, and if I don't think he's all that good in himself, I make some excuse why they can't go (!!!); but if they do go, I ask God to place around them a blanket of protection. I heard someone pray it once, and adopted it as a prayer for my children, and I find it very comforting... I pray that Stephanie has her own blaket of protection around her when she travels, and that her Mama has one around her too, while she's at home on the couch reading or blogging, or praying... Bless your heart! Naomi x
I miss you sharing about life, etc... and know something must be happening with you from time-to-time. I've been away for a time too, but I'm back and want to hear about your life and adventures and challenges and upcoming holiday... :)
Hi! If you're still reading comments here, drop by my blog for a chance at some Christmas music!
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