Objections

As most of you are aware, I am married to a man who won't come to church.

This has been something an object of frustration for me for many many years.

Last night Kym said to me that he really enjoys the company and gets along really well with all the people at our church. All of our friends are members of our church. He has known many of them all his life.

He just doesn't like church.

I pointed out that church has changed a lot since he was forced to sit in the pews for 18 years. We are a much more relaxed bunch now, and he said himself that he enjoys the company of everyone there.

He doesn't sing. When we all stand to sing he feels out of place.

I said that when I am worship leading I notice that quite a few of the men don't sing. It's not compulsory. You can still listen, hear the message and worship without singing.

He said he has never sat in that church and felt comfortable. He's never considered it a place where he wants to be. He never once in all the 18 years that he went to church every Sunday thought that "this is a good thing, I want to be here".

I commented again that church has changed since he was there.

While I don't think that this means Kym will be coming to church with me in the near future, the fact that he is willing to discuss it is a giant step forward, and fills me with hope.

Lord, thankyou that Kym feels he wants to talk to me about attending church. I pray that you will give me the right things to say in future discussions of this nature. This is the first time we've really talked about attending church without it turning into an argument and I thank you for that. Please continue to soften Kym's heart and help him to open it up to you.

I shouldn't be surprised but....

Would you believe that our sermon at church this week was entitled "Are you too busy for God?"

Do you think the Lord is trying to tell me something? :)

There was a great analogy that I'd like to share....

A little boy was walking with his family on the beach, collecting shells as he went, when he saw a beautifuly big starfish floating out in the water.

His father encouraged him to go grab it, it wasn't too far out so go right ahead. He ran a little way into the water but came back out, looking frustrated.

His father said "go on, go ahead and grab it, it's right there" So he went back into the water again and went a little further but then turned around and ran back out, looking really frustrated this time.

His father encouraged him again "it's right there in front of you, you were nearly there, just reach out and grab it". So the little boy went in again, this time getting right up to the starfish. He looked at it but came back out of the water again.

His father said "what's the problem? you were right there, just reach out and grab hold of it" to which the little boy frustratedly replied "I can't, my hands are full of shells".

That really opened my eyes. I am not fully committing my life to God. I beat myself up about not being a good enough wife and mother, but I don't commit my family to the Lord. I try to do good things in the community and be a productive member of society, but I don't seek the Lord's counsel on what I should and shouldn't be involved in.

I can't do everything on my own.

That's a bit of a revelation for me.

So, my new aim is to give myself, my life, my family, my everything to the Lord. Not just little snippets, everything, and trust him to take my life where He want's it to go.

"Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord for thee" The first line of a song (that I chose!) that we sang on Sunday. The chorus sings "Here am I, all of me. Take my life, it's all for thee." I chose to include that song in worship this week because it's a new one the congregation has been learning, and it sounds pretty. Well, that's why I thought I was choosing it. The Lord obviously had something to tell me...

Lord, help me to hand everything over to you, and to seek you in all things. Help me to hear your counsel, and be open to hearing your word. Help me to dedicate time during my day to spend with you. I committ my family to you now Lord. Help me to trust in you, and remember that you are the only one who cares for them more than I do.

Priorities and Commitments

Some comments on my previous post (thankyou ladies!) has made me think that maybe I should sit down and asses my priorities and commitments. I'm obviously spreading myself too thin and perhaps now is a good time to think about how I actually spend my time....


My job - it's full time, around 40 hours per week. Also uses a lot of my mental and physical energy and there's often not much left in the tank by the time I arrive home. I would dearly love to cut back on this, but that's not financially viable at the moment. Praying for some direction here, as I'd love a change, but if God wants me here, then I guess that's where I will be staying.

My family - they are also full time! The kids need to be driven to their sporting commitments, nagged to do their homework and clean their rooms, supervised on the computer (Scott mostly), and have their arguments refereed. I think poor Kym gets the least attention, because he can look after himself and I forget he needs me too. Of course there are the chores that everyone with a family has to do, washing (no Joanie, not ironing!), tidying, cooking etc.

My church - I worship lead around three months of the year. This involves planning songs, practising new ones, preparing the power point presentation, liasing with ministers/speakers and of course the important bit, actually worship leading on a Sunday. I'm also on our ministry team which meets monthly to oversee the general well being and pastoral care of the church, and I'm the secretary of the congregation which is a quarterly meeting. One term per year I teach Sunday school which to be honest I don't really enjoy so much anymore.

Our school - I am on the governing council committee for our school, which meets monthly. I am also on the school uniform committee which meets when required, the IT committee and since I'm the treasurer of governing council I have to be on the finance committee.

My sport - I play, coach and umpire netball most Saturday's from April to September which takes a great deal of physical and mental energy each week. I love the game, but not the politics that come with it, or the way my body feels after playing. I know this is something I should be able to let go but haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. During summer I play tennis, and I'm the secretary of our tennis club. I'm also the captains wife so I generally write up the teams (because you can read my handwriting) and this has the added perk of having a say in who my doubles partner is! In Autumn and Spring I play squash with Scott (well, not actually with him, he's better than me so plays higher, but we go together). This happens on a Monday night after work.

Mary Kay with Steph - It feels like I have two jobs when this gets busy, but it has the benefit of being flexible, and we are able to do parties when we have time, or when we can make the time. Most Mary Kay parties are held on Friday nights or Sunday afternoons. I'm looking forward to summer as I will have more Saturday's free then.

Out of all that I'm thinking netball is the obvious thing to drop. Although I would still have to go on a Saturday to watch Steph and Scott play, and being there I would still help out with scoring, timing, umpiring etc.

Everything would be so much easier if I didn't have to work....but I do so I may as well stop sulking about it and toughen up.

I guess what I need to do now is pray about it. Try to work out what stays and what goes.

Lord, please help me to see what is important in my life and what isn't. Help me to prioritise my committments so that Iam able to best serve you and care for my family.

I want to run away.

I'm serious! I really do want to run away.

Life is just bugging me at the moment. And rather than deal with it, I'd just like to run away.

There is nothing specific that I can really put my finger on. I think I'm just tired and feeling run down and unappreciated.

Work is getting busier and busier, with new responsibilities and tasks added here and there. Nothing major, but it builds up.

Nothing drastic has happened at home. The kids are relatively happy (as happy as teenagers get I imagine), Kym isn't stressing any more than usual about the rain, the crops, the weeds, the drought.

I think I've just reached a point where I either need to ask for help or fall into a heap. I feel as though I spend my life meeting other people's needs and demands. It feels like there is no one taking care of me, and I don't have time to take care of me because I'm spending all my time taking care of them.

Sigh.

I don't have any answers. I'm really really bad at telling people how I feel. Really bad. I don't like to admit to any kind of weakness. People comment to me all the time that they don't know how I do it. Well I don't know either. And I don't know how much longer I can go before the wheels fall off.

Like I said. I just want to run away.

Football Clubs

Football in our community is more than just a sport. For those who don't know God(and for a few that do) it's a religion. People feel very strongly about it.

Our family are members of the Rudall Community Sports Club. This is a family oriented club, where we play netball, football, tennis, cricket and softball. We have a great sense of community. We look after each other and support one another. I love this club where I have grown up and where my children have grown up.

Our arch rivals are Cleve. For as long as I can remember we have loved to hate Cleve. But for the most part it's been a friendly rivalry which has remained on the field.

I'm afraid that may be about to change....

Cleve have in the past few years really started to struggle with numbers. Their senior football are having trouble finding two teams each week. Their solution is to amalgamate with Rudall.

Cleve and Rudall are so different in their makeup, and their philosophy, and their priorities.

Cleve are successful on the field, but not doing so well off it. Their netball and football clubs are seperate entities and don't talk to each other. Their club is run as seperate little clubs. On a Saturday night after a home game the Cleve football club is empty by 7.30pm. Their clubroom is old, rundown, and in need or replacement.

Rudall hasn't won an A grade football premiership since the 70's. But they have plenty of players who love being there. All the sports played at Rudall are managed and supported by the club as a whole. They are a community with young families and have built a fantastic facility where everyone is made to feel welcome. On Saturday nights after home games we have quiz nights, mouse races (I kid you not!), live bands and we serve home cooked, inexpensive meals to encourage families to stay and interact and enjoy themselves.

Both of these clubs have people that are passionate about them. We have one club who are getting it right on the field and one getting it right off the field. And I think that's because we have different priorities. Rudall is about community involvement. Cleve is about winning. I'm not sure you can combine the two.

What I do know is that this has the potential to completely divide the community because there are people on both sides who feel very strongly about their point of view and who aren't willing to listen to one another.

And that's bad.

We are already suffering from a drought. We need to be supporting each other and not tearing each other down over a game of football, where it should be played, and who it should be played for.


Lord, please help those who make the decisions for both these clubs see beyond their own opinions and be open and honest with each other for the good of the community. Please don't allow this to come between people and divide the whole community.

Ouch...

Oh the pain!

Just a quick warning...this post is going to be a whole lot of complaining so you have my permission to stop reading now!

On Saturday I played netball. This isn't unusual, I play netball most Saturdays, but this Saturday was different.

For those of you who don't know, I usually play in the goal ring, or on the wing. Stephanie is a centre. The centre is the person who runs. And runs. And runs some more. All they do is run.

We have a couple of girls who can play this position, as it's incredibly difficult to run out an entire game there.

On Saturday for the first time in two years we only had 7 players for 7 positions. This meant that Stephanie would have to play an entire game in centre, and she almost made it! She has been feeling a bit under the weather with a tummy bug for the past few days but seemed find on Saturday. Until the fourth quarter. She got head spins and felt really unwell.

No problem I thought. We can just put her in a position that doesn't run so much. I looked around me to see who I could swap her with. She can't play goals, or deep in defence because she is too short so I needed to swap her with one of the wings. Hmmmm. Oh dear. That would be me....

Waaaaaay back in the dark ages when I had two legs that worked I used to play centre. I loved it. It was my favourite position. But that was a long time (and about 10 kilograms) ago.

Surely I could manage a quarter. It's only 15 minutes!

There were sniggers from my "friends" on the sidelines as we changed position. There were comments about going to find the stretcher, or the defibrillator (this from a nurse!) and much snickering going on!

To cut a long story short, I did survive. But it was the LONGEST 15 minutes of my life! I thought I was going to DIE! And Stephanie had the cheek to point out that I was letting my player loose occasionally! RUDE!

We won the game by 10 goals and I was quite proud of my achievements in the end. I even got a the best player vote! Or a sympathy vote perhaps!

By 7pm I was struggling to walk, and getting up out of a chair was out of the question!

Today I'm still feeling quite a bit of pain in my "good" knee, and a normal amount of pain in my injured knee. I'm visiting the physio today (who was one of the sideline "sniggerers") to see if I'm doing any damage to my good knee. I'm worried that I'm putting too much pressure on it by favouring my bad leg too much, and it's going to be the next thing to go.

I only have about 5 games for the season. I'm hoping my body can hold it together for that long!

It's not about me...

I don't know about you, but "it's not all about you" is a sentence I find myself saying to my teenage daughter a lot.

But a post I read this morning (thankyou Leah) got me thinking...it's not about me either!

As a worship leader it's pretty easy to fall into the trap of thinking it is about you. I stand in front of the congregation on a Sunday, using my talents to serve the Lord. Well, that's how it's supposed to be. People come up to me after the service and thank me, congratulate me, and tell me I'm doing a great job. And that's where it would be really easy to fall into the self indulgent trap of self gratification.

There are a few in our congregation who love to listen to me sing, which is very flattering! They often comment that I don't always use the microphone while we are singing. I tend to only sing into the microphone when we are learning a new song, or to alert people when to start singing. I feel that if we are singing a well known song they don't really need me. Afterall they aren't there to listen to me.

Which is all very well....except I'm a singer. I love to perform. I enjoy being the centre of attention. And sometimes I find myself singing more new songs than well known ones and that's when I have to question my motives.

A church service is not a concert. We are there to worship our Lord, as one, as a family, not to listen to a worship leader who loves to perform....

I don't think there is anything wrong with loving to perform. There is just a time and a place for it.

Here is a quote from Charles Swindoll, that I read on Leah's blog this morning. It really spoke to me and reminded me that worship leading is exactly that. Worship.

“Humble yourself. Rather than racing into the limelight, we need to accept our role in the shadows. I’m serious here. Don’t promote yourself. Don’t push yourself to the front. Don’t drop hints. Let someone else do that. Better yet, let God do that. If you’re great, trust me, the word will get out. You’ll be found…in God’s time. If you’re necessary for the plan, God will put you in the right place at just the precise time. God’s work is not about us; it’s His production, start to finish. So back off. Let Him pull the curtains and turn on the stage lights.”

"If you are necessary for the plan, God will put you in the right place as just the precise time". Wow. There's a piece of humble pie Sharon. "IF" you are necessary.

As Michael W Smith says in one of my very favourite worship songs "It's all about you, it's all about you Jesus".

Lord, thankyou for giving me the gifts you have to enable me to lead worship for your glory. Please help me to remember that it really is all about you.

Hope

Hope is a very powerful thing.

When you have hope you can face almost any obstacle, and life is so much more liveable when you have hope.

In our little drought stricken town we are just beginning to see some flutters of hope.

Our paddocks have gone from looking like this (below) where there was no feed for the sheep, and they were being fed hay by us every day. We have very little hay left now, so the prospect of having enough oats to cut and bale for hay this year gives us hope.

To this. Doesn't that look so much better? Our soil is moist (and actually a little water logged at present!). There is plenty of green feed for the sheep. The sides of the roads are green. Everything looks fresh and beautiful.

Of course we have had this hope before, at this time of year. It's hard to not still be pessimistic when we remember than in the past few years things have looked pretty good in July, only to be dried up and withering by September.

But the past few weeks have been REALLY wet. Wetter than we have had for many years. And that means that the soil is getting moisture down deep, and the crops will send roots down there when the surface moisture dries out.

So, we have hope. And people in the town are smiling.

Lord, thankyou for this wonderful rain. Thankyou that it has fallen so evenly across the whole of Eyre Peninsula. I pray that it will bring renewed hope to our community. I pray for continued rain throughout winter and into spring to ensure our crops have the best chance.

On another subject; It's Jase's funeral today. Please pray for his family and friends as we say goodbye.

Sunday Morning Stroll

I went for a bit of a walk this morning.

On a muddy road. In dress pants and high heels. For about 8 kilometres.

Let's go back to the beginning.

Our roads are wet at the moment (which of course I am NOT complaining about).

Wet, muddy roads can be a bit of a hazard, but I'm comfortable on the roads I drive on every day. I know where the slippery bits are, and drive accordingly.

This morning we had church at Arno Bay, which is about 30km from home. I was the worship leader so made sure I left in plenty of time so I had time to set up and get organised once I got there.

The road wasn't too bad, so I relaxed a little and probably wasn't being as cautious as I should have been. Before I knew it I had hit a big puddle (which stretched right across the road, so I couldn't go around it) a "little" too fast and in a split second I was amonst the trees on the side of the road.


I hopped out, assessed the damage which wasn't too bad (broken headlight, dented front fender, various scratches), hopped back in and proceeded to reverse back out onto the road.

The wheels started spinning, so I put the car in four wheel drive.

Still no luck.

What to do....here I am stuck on the side of a road that very few people use, with a FLAT mobile phone and people expecting me to lead them in worship in less than half an hour.

I tried to work out why the wheels were spinning and discovered that one of the back one's wasn't completely touching the ground, so I found some sticks and bits of branches (coincidentally there were plenty of broken branches lying around!) and jammed them under the offending wheel.

Still no luck.

So I decided I would walk...thinking that before I had gone too far someone from church would miss me and call Kym who knowing what time I left would come looking for me.

Well they took their time! They waited til I was almost a half hour late! I'm never late! By the time Kym came along I was almost home...tottering along in the mud in my shiny heels!!


So I'm hoping they managed ok without me at church. I feel really bad for leaving them in the lurch.

Dear Lord, thankyou for keeping me safe during my little mishap today. Thankyou for keeping the rain away until Kym had picked me up! Please help me to learn from this experience and treat our wet and muddy roads with a little more respect. Thankyou also for the wonderful rain we have had this week. Walking along the road today I couldn't help but appreciate the wonder of your creation all around me, and marvel at the beauty of it.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

RED ALERT!!

This is traffic warning to all residents of South Australia....

Stephanie has her probationary licence!!!

She completed all her lessons with her final drive yesterday. The final drive is where they have to do their test, and she passed with 96%, which is great....really....I mean that!

I'm just glad the whole process is over! It was a lot more expensive than I expected, and a lot has changed since I got my licence!

Firstly she sat for her learners permit - $32 (luckily she passed because if you fail you have to re sit and keep paying!)

Then she had to complete 50 hours of daytime driving and 10 hours of night driving. Who knows how much this cost in fuel. I probably don't want to know.

Then it's time for lessons. She had to complete a minimum of 5 lessons at $100 per lesson.

Yesterday's final drive was also $100.

And finally her probationary licence was $75

So....a total of $707, which doesn't include the fuel!!!

I'm just glad we have a couple of years to recover now before Scott qualifies to get his licence. Although, no doubt the rules will have changed again by then...

Lord, please watch over Stephanie as she enjoys the freedom that comes with having a licence. Protect her on the road and help her make wise decisions. Help her to remember that a drivers licence is a privelige and comes with responsibility. Most of all keep her safe.

Netball Stress

You may remember my constant whining last year when I told you all about my netball team. How we had almost double the amount of players we needed and what a constant struggle it was to give everyone fair court time....

I said I was never coaching again after that.

Famous last words.

This year in a moment of temporary insanity I decided to not only coach that team again, but to play. Which means I am coaching and playing with my daughter.

Madness.

Our numbers haven't been so abundant this year. And with the loss of Lightening (no commitment!) we are down to nine, sometimes eight (you need seven) players. So not so many headaches there.

But the team doesn't seem to be as cohesive this year as it was last year. There has been nit picking and niggling and just general not nicedness (great word hey!). And that is very draining. It's hard to keep that in check while you are trying to concentrate on your own game. Often I'm so busy trying to get it right myself that I don't notice things that happen around me.

To be honest I'm just over it.

I'm really looking forward to the season being over.

Next year I think I will just play.

Steph in action, grand final 2008.

A Tribute

Last night a beautiful soul left us, he was just 17.

Jase is the son of a long time friend of mine. When he was 3 months old, and I was pregnant with Stephanie, Kym and I babysat Jase for a few weeks while his Mum had a much needed break from her two little ones.

He was a delightful baby. Full of smiles. So easy to love. Kym and I enjoyed every moment we spent with him, and it filled us with anticipation of the birth of our own child.

A few days after his Mum came home and Jase went home he had a seizure. This seizure almost claimed his life but his Mum and her Dad managed to keep him alive during the fast and scary trip to hospital.

The months to follow would be a blur of seizures, tests, more seizures, stress and worry for the whole family. No one was able to pin point the cause of the seizures and therefore were powerless to stop them. Each seizure left Jase a little more brain damaged.

By the time he was 2 he was on extremely strong medication to try to stop the seizures. This helped and the frequency of them was slowed right down but he was never the same little boy again.

Jase has spent his 17 years being loved, cared for and watched over by friends, family and the whole community.

Everyone loves Jase.

He has gone through school in Stephanie's class, and they have taken him under their wing, at times fiercely protective of him. He was unable to walk long distances, or talk, but he still smiled that beautiful smile.

Jase loved trucks. He had a truck magazine as his constant companion, and he loved to show you his trucks. He also loved to collect bottles and cans for recycling. You had to make sure you held on to your coke, because Jase wasn't concerned with whether you were finished it or not!

Last night Jase suffered his last seizure.

Rest in peace little man. Our world just won't be the same without you.

Lord, please be with Jase's family as they mourn his sudden death. Please offer them comfort and help them in this time of sadness and loss.

Church Get Together

This weekend saw us having a bye for netball and football so was a great opportunity for us to all get together as a church family.

There are a few families in our church that a doing it pretty tough at the moment, so we thought it would be a good idea to just spend time in fellowship and friendship. It was a lovely relaxed night out, everyone thoroughly enjoyed the food (which was cooked by Kym, a camp oven which is his specialty!) and just spending time together.

We had two camp ovens. One full of chicken (those are Kym's hands trying to squeeze in one more!), and one with lamb and beef. The meat was cooked to perfection and everyone was full of praise for Kym's efforts. I was just full of praise that Kym was at a church event!

Kym, Scott and I went down to the church early as the meat had to be put on to cook at around 3pm. We sat around the fire and enjoyed a cuppa and Kym and Scott took the opportunity to have a kick of the footy. I love this shot of Scott. He has just kicked the ball. He's taken his shoes off (and run around in the dirt in white socks!!!) because he can kick further that way. Of course. Silly me. Why didn't I think of that.


Here is everyone toasting marshmallows over the fire. I just love a toasted marshmallow! I love to burn it, then eat off the burnt layer and toast it again until it's all gone!

Here are the "second tier" group of teenagers. The older group (Stephanie's age) weren't there as they are all off on a youth camp for the first week of the school holidays.

And here we have a few of us sitting around the campfire, tummies full and enjoying some great company!

Thankyou Lord for events such as this where Kym is happy to be involved in a church function. I pray that being surrounded by wonderful encouraging people like this will help soften his heart toward you and allow him to let you in.

Kym's Health

Good morning everyone.

I wonder if you could spare a minute for a quick prayer this morning...

Kym is off to the doctor to have his blood pressure checked.

About 8 years ago we discovered by accident (he ended up in hospital after coming off his motorbike, so had his blood pressure taken) that Kym has ridiculously high blood pressure. He also has high cholesterol.

After lots of tests there was no cause found for either condition, other than hereditary. His Mum has high blood pressure, his grandpa on his Mum's side died at the age of 52 from a heart attack.

Kym isn't overweight. Doesn't smoke (anymore). Doesn't drink to excess. He is physically fit and leads a pretty healthy lifestyle.

So, he was put on medication, which fixed both problems.

Until now.

In the past couple of years his blood pressure has been on the rise again. A month ago the doctor changed his medication. He was warned that this may make his blood pressure drop significantly and to be careful when standing up as he may be light headed.

Well. This super strength medication has brought his blood pressure down. A little. It certainly hasn't made him light headed.

Today he visits the doctor again for a check up. If the doctor isn't happy with his progress he may increase the dosage, or send Kym to a heart specialist.

To be honest, I'd rather he just went to the heart specialist. With his family history I'd like to know what's going on.

Lord, I pray that the doctor will give Kym a clear course of action today. And that we will find answers to his health issues. Please give the doctor clarity and help him make the right decision with regard to Kym.

Washing Machine Saga part 678

It's been TWO WEEKS people!

Still no washing machine!

Apparently we are still waiting for parts. How long can it possibly take? Are they coming on a slow boat from China? Is this boat being rowed with tiny little oars?

Am I the only person who thinks it's unreasonable to cope without a washing machine while working full time and doing the laundry of a whole family? Especially when one of those family members is a teenage girl?

Somebody please come and dig me out from this mountain of dirty laundry that I am buried under! It smells really bad under here!

Twin Cousins

These beautiful girls were born one day apart. We call them our twins. But really, they couldn't be any more different if they tried. They are fair and dark, chalk and cheese, night and day.



Amber (in the pink) is bright and breezy, bubbly and carefree. She goes with the flow and if she is upset or down she manages to hide it and greet you with a smile. Steph (in the blue) is brooding and intense, fiercly loyal and demanding. When she is upset you know about it, if she is grumpy you will not get a smile out of her! If Steph wants something she will tell you (really tell you!), whereas Amber has more subtle (insert "sneeky"!) ways of getting her own way.This has caused more than a few conflicts as they've grown up. They have had some huge fights. They have disliked each other intensely (well more intensely on Steph's side, because she is the intense one!)

Who knows what life has in store for these beautiful young women. Whatever it is they will always have each other to fall back on. They may intensely hate each other at times, but they always forgive, and always remember they love each other, and I hope they always will.