I'm worried.

I'm worried that I haven't done enough.

As far as my children's Christian upbringing goes I'm a bit of a single parent. And I'm pretty sure I haven't done enough.

I'm not even sure that I've done my best.

Stephanie goes out into the world on her own next year and I'm really concerned that her walk with Jesus will end there. She will be living right next door to a church, but that doesn't mean she will cross it's thresh hold.

At the moment she is relishing her new found grown upness. But I can see that she isn't really that grown up at all. She is still that little girl looking for acceptance. I just pray that she grows to understand that the only one who will really accept her completely and unconditionally is her Lord and Saviour.

Lord, please speak to Stephanie's heart. Let her know that you are there. Guide her decisions and her life. Help her to grow into the young woman you made her to be. Amen.

Graduation and other woes

This group of wonderful young people from our church have now graduated high school and are about to head off into the big wide world. Yesterday we held a special service for them to dedicate them and their future to the Lord and to wish them well. We made it very clear to them that we were by no means saying goodbye...we expect many visits!!

On the left we have Amber who will go to Adelaide to study childcare, then Tom who is moving away to start an apprenticeship, next is Fabian who has an apprenticeship lined up in Adelaide, and Sophie who will study journalism at Uni and Steph who will study acupuncture.

I was a bit worried about how I would cope during the service. I'm SO not ready to face the prospect of my little girl leaving home. I was doing ok until our worship leader asked the children and youth to sing the first verse of one of my favourite worship songs "Here Iam to Worship". Standing next to Stephanie, listening to her sing a beautiful song in her beautiful, sweet, clear voice was my undoing. I couldn't join in with the song when we were supposed to. Our pianist looked up and saw Steph singing with all her heart, and me being a dribbling mess and she almost lost it as well, which just made me worse!!

But all in all the service was lovely, and positive and a wonderful tribute to these amazing young people. A special moment was when their grandparents stood behind them and said a special prayer just for them (and they all had their grandparents there - how cool is that?).

My hope for this gorgeous young woman now is that she will remember the Lord when I'm not there to remind her. That she will look to her bible when she needs advice, and that she will always remember that our home will always be hers.

Lord, please help Stephanie remember that she is your princess. Encourage her to always look to your word for advice and to live her life for your glory. Amen.

Change is afoot...

I usually welcome change with open arms. I've been known to change things just for sake of having a change.

At the moment I'm struggling to imagine enjoying the changes about to take place in our family. Nothing new, or drastic, these changes have been happening since time began.

I'm talking about our children spreading their wings and leaving home.

Exciting and scary for them. Just plain scary for me.

Tomorrow morning Stephanie will graduate from high school. Then her class, teachers and parents will celebrate with a formal graduation dinner. It seems just yesterday that I was getting ready for my own graduation dinner. Steph has her dress (gorgeous, there will be photos), she is getting her hair and makeup done, she is very excited about the whole thing. As she should be.

On Monday Steph will begin harvest work with Viterra, a grain handling company. This is seasonal work that a lot of students take up as a pretty lucrative summer job. It's not any easy job by any stretch of the imagination, it's very physical and the conditions can be extremely hot, dusty and uncomfortable.

In January Steph will work 2 or 3 nights per week at a local hotel. The owner has agreed to train her and give her the experience she needs to hopefully gain part time work when she moves to Adelaide.

And then in February my baby leaves the nest. She will be so busy between now and then that I'm afraid I'll hardly see her. She has been accepted into a four year degree in Acupuncture, which she is very excited about. Next week she will find out if she has been successful in gaining a scholarship which will cover her first year's fees. So we are praying!

So while Stephanie buzzes about cleaning and packing up her room, throwing away clothes that no longer fit, sorting out what will or won't fit in her little unit, excitedly making lists, looking at bake ware, and generally getting prepared I'm left wondering what happened? Where did the time go?

Lord, I pray that as Stephanie gets prepared to leave home that I am able to support her in any way that she needs. I pray that I've taught her enough to live happily and safely. I pray that she will gain the scholarship she has applied for, and that she will be successful in her studies. Most of all I pray that she will look to you for guidance and love, and know that she is never alone when you live in her heart.

Broken and Beautiful

Good morning everyone! Yes! I am still alive if anyone was wondering (or if you are still here!)

Something happened this morning that I just had to share. I haven't had an "aha" moment like this in a while....

I was driving to work listening to my ipod (not in my ears, through the car stereo in case you are worrying about my safe driving habits!) and a beautiful song came on. Broken and Beautiful. I'm not sure who sings it but this morning it was written for me.

I really felt the Lord telling me to "come as you are" and ended up with tears streaming down my face (which isn't good for the makeup on the way to work!). Then the next song was "God doesn't make mistakes". Amazing. Just a little lesson for me on the way to work thanks to the greatest teacher EVER.

A quick update on life on the farm for those who are interested. Steph will graduate on Friday, and she will be presented with the Art Prize (although she doesn't know that yet). Today she has an interview at 3pm with Endeavour College as she has been short listed for a scholarship with them (so prayers would be appreciated!). Scott is on harvest leave at the moment to help his Dad with what looks like the biggest harvest we have EVER had (PRAISE THE LORD!!!). Scott ht two terms out of school as he was mixing with the wrong crowd and not thinking about consequences. Being home schooled has made me realise that he's a whole lot smarter than I thought he was. He will go back to school next term, hopefully a more mature boy and more able to cope with the pressure of his peers. We shall see.

Can't wait to spend some time catching up on your blogs to see what's happening!

Love and blessings
Sharon.

Can of Worms

I don't usually get political.

But at the moment I'm worried.

August 21st is election day. The election in Australia is pretty much a two horse race. And at the moment we get to choose from the bad and the very very bad.

In the blue corner we have our current PM (by default after she deposed the current PM a few weeks back) Julia Gillard. She is well spoken. Educated. Measured. And an atheist.

In the white corner we have Tony Abbott. Also educated. Not so well spoken. Bit of a loose cannon. Flys off the handle and says things he shouldn't. Wears those ridiculous swimming trunks in public. And is a committed Christian who openly opposes gay marriage, abortion and sex before marriage.

To me the choice is obvious. But I'm not so sure how the rest of the country will see it. If Julia Gillard is successful we will not only have our first ever woman Prime Minister, but we will also have our first non married, living in a de facto relationship, atheist Prime Minister.

The trouble is that Julia presents herself very well. She is well spoken, compassionate, and just comes across as a polished professional. Tony on the other hand looks as though he is constantly trying to hold himself back from saying something that will alienate half the country.

So pray for us here in Australia on August 21st. I'm not sure that Tony Abbott will lead the country well, but at least I can be sure that he will get help from above.

School Trouble

I am the secretary of the governing body of our school.

Sometimes this is a little awkward for me, as it calls for me to have a different working relationship with the principal than the relationship I have with him as a parent. Our parent/teacher relationship has been a little rocky, as I have often butted heads with him over the welfare of my children. Neither of my children really fit "the system" so I have found myself advocating for them more often than I would like.

Just this week Scott has been suspended, for something that I found pretty trivial, and strongly believe the school is reacting to the result rather than the cause of the problem. This bothers me a lot. So I have gone in to bat for him (again) and said my piece (again). I've always remained calm and polite during these encounters, I've never resorted to attacking the teachers or principal personally (although there have been times when I would have liked to) and I think this is the only way I've been able to balance my two roles as governing council secretay and parent.

I have to admit though, that this recent incident has me seething. And I'm all but ready to throw in the towel. Scott has spent the past few days at home, working from home and achieving much much more than he would have in a classroom. He is pretty bright, and he showed me today that he wants to succeed. He was actually enjoying trigonometry, he just needed to see that he can do it, and he needed someone to take the time to help him with it.

Our school seems to have a real problem with discipline at the moment. They are letting incidents slide and then completely over reacting over something minor.

I have little choice but to send him to this school. Which annoys me. The combination of a few teachers who just don't seem to care, a few (very) disruptive boys in Scott's class, and apathetic management isn't conducive to success. But there is no other school that doesn't require boarding, and that's just something we can not afford at the moment.

Scott confided to me today that he wants to be an airforce pilot when he grows up. But he doesn't dare dream it's a possibility because he's "too dumb". That's just heartbreaking.

Lord, please help Scott follow his dreams. Give him faith in his own ability and a willingless to learn despite the obstacles he sometimes faces. Help me to continue to encourage and help him and help him to become the man you made him to be.

Uncertainty

Hello there!

Life is showing no signs of slowing down for me at the moment which means that blogging will probably remain spasmodic...but I'm still here!

Last week we ventured off to Adelaide for Steph's interview at Endeavour College of Natural Health, where she hopes to study next year. We started with an open day on Sunday where we were able to look around, see classes in action and learn about all the different courses on offer. Then Steph spent some time with the senior lecturer for acupuncture, which she really enjoyed. Her interview on Monday morning was uneventful and non traumatic, with her being offered a place in her chosen course (Bachelor of Health Science (Acupuncture)). She was thrilled.

Then we went shopping in search of THE perfect graduation dress. This experience was much less traumatic and expensive than expected and we were patting ourselves on the back when by lunch time Steph had a place at uni, and a gorgeous dress (without us having to take a second mortgage!!).

We wandered out to West Lakes shopping centre for lunch, as it's nearby where Steph is hoping to live next year. We then had an appointment at 2pm to meet the owner of the student housing accommodation and to inspect the units there. It went really well, Andrea (the owner) was lovely, supportive and helpful. The units were small and basic but comfortable and clean, with everything she will need...and the best bit - she can walk to the beach! She can also walk to the train station and the street she will live on has all the shops she needs within walking distance. Also lots of part time job opportunities with cafes, restaurants and shops. So we put a security deposit on 2 units (as Steph's cousin is hoping to study in Adelaide next year also).

On the drive home Steph got a text from Renee (her cousin) telling her that she had been accepted into her course at Adelaide City Tafe...which is right next door to Endeavour College!!

It wasn't until we were on our way home that I spent some time thinking about all that we had achieved in a single day. Up until our trip to Adelaide I had been quite uncertain about Steph's study choices. She excells in the arts, is a great musician and all awards she has won have been for design. And she wants to study a science degree? It just didn't feel quite right with me, didn't seem as though she was looking to her strengths.

BUT. After everything just falling into place the way it did. I think God is telling me to step away and let HIM run the show! I mean how amazing that in the space of 4 hours we had secured a place at uni, a graduation dress, a place to live AND someone to live next door from home!

WOW.

How great is our God.

Lord, thankyou. I'm speechless. Just thankyou. Please continue to remind me that you are in control and that I don't need to worry. Help us with the transition when it happens next year. I'm pretty sure I'm really going to need your help when it comes time to say goodbye. Please watch over Steph and Renee now and forever. Amen.