Return to the netball court.

I love netball. I love feeling part of a team. When I'm on the court time just flies, I enjoy every minute. Well, almost every minute.

I haven't played netball in two years. Four years ago I had a full knee reconstruction (my second one on that leg). It took a year to recover from that and then I was back on the court. But it wasn't the same. My knee didn't feel stable at. all. I didn't give my best because I was fearful of hurting it again, my memory of what that feels like was too recent and vivid. So after that season I decided to call it quits.

In the two years since I have coached and umpired. I've still enjoyed being a part of our club, I've even coached a team to a premiership. But it's not the same as being an actual member of the team.

So this year I've decided to give it another go.

I had my first training last Thursday. It went pretty well. I had forgotten my knee brace so I took it fairly easy. I managed to play a game without hurting myself (always a bonus!). I felt pretty good afterward.

And the next day my knee was a littel sore, which I expected. The rest of my body was a little sore, also to be expected.

Then came Saturday. I woke up and EVERY single muscle in my body ached. It hurt to sneeze. It hurt to breathe. I started to wonder at the wisdom of making a return to this game when I'll be turning 40 this year. *shudder* enough said about that!

Yesterday and today my knee has been misbehaving. I'm not amused. Just now when I was carrying my cuppa back to my desk it almost completely gave out. I was only walking! I could have spilled my coffee! The horror!

So, I'm thinking it's time to pay my dear friend Melissa a visit. She is a physio (I know, she sews debutante dresses, plays piano beautifully AND she is a physio...is there nothing the woman can't do?). Of course if she tells me not to play netball I will be left with only one choice. To ignore her.

Squash tonight. We shall see how the old knee holds up to that.

Gobsmacked

Last night, after my wonderful husband and I sat down and watched Fireproof together I was a bit, well gobsmacked!

First of all, I said after dinner that I was going to watch a movie, which we were thinking about circulating around church for other couples to watch. So there was no ambiguity about what kind of movie it was. We have three televisions and yet Kym chose to watch Fireproof with me.

Gobsmacked.

Not only did he watch it, but he enjoyed it! There is a wonderful, moving and powerful message to this movie but there are also some lighthearted moments, a bit of action and of course some romance so it catered to everyone.

I was a bit concerned he would lose interest and leave once it started to get to the heart of the matter. That you can't maintain true love unless you commit your life to Jesus. But no. He stayed. He listened.

Again. Gobsmacked.

After the movie I had to go outside. I was a bit overwhelmed with this huge blessing that the Lord has given me. I wanted to thank Him, praise Him, shout His name from the rooftops. Instead I just cried, and laughed, and said thankyou over and over. Not very eloquent but I'm hoping the Lord caught my meaning!

Now after the wonder of that beautiful hour and a half that I spent in my husbands and the Lords company I'm starting to doubt. To second guess. To think that he only watched it with me to humour me. I'm afraid to hope.

I have purchased the book "The Love Dare" and hope to encourage Kym to participate in doing it together. Not that I think our marriage is in trouble, but I'm hoping that it will be an experience that can bring us closer together, and closer to the Lord.

Lord, thank you for allowing me to spend time hearing your word with my husband by my side. I pray that the movie had as much impact on Kym as it did on me, and that together we can grow closer to you and serve you with all our hearts.

Hope

As many of you may be aware, I am married to someone who refuses to go to church.

I won't go so far as to say he isn't a Christian, because to be honest I can't be sure. There are times when he has shared with me that he does pray, that he does believe in the Lord, and then he will contradict himself and say it's all rubbish.

I am hopeful though. He hasn't said it's all rubbish in quite some time. I feel as though we are progressing (although at times I think it's soooo slow!).

There have been a few signs of hope that I thought I would share, as much to remind myself to be hopeful more than anything.

• Last week I mentioned that the spine on my Bible is torn, and he offered to fix it.
• I have become more involved in the leadership group of our church, so far with no opposition from Kym (which hasn't always been the case). He is even interested to hear about how my meetings went.
• I no longer feel I have to hide the fact that I'm reading my bible, or writing in my prayer journal. In the past this has been a cause for conflict but I no longer feel I need to hide it to keep the peace.
• I am the secretary of our congregation and recently decided to skip a meeting in favour of spending time with Kym. He didn't expect that, he would have been happy for me to go and put off our afternoon together for another time. In the past this would have been an issue, he was constantly jealous of the time I spent in church if it interfered with his plans.
• He no longer baits me about evolution. Kym loves nature shows and used to really enjoy winding me up about the evolution theory.
• He just seems to be softening in general. I don't know if or when he will ever come to church with me but I feel a new certainty that he will join me in heaven, and that's the important bit.
• Dear friends have been praying for us, and feeling led to pray for us and this keeps me encouraged, and reminds me that the Lord has not forgotten.

There have been many other little things. Just things that come up in conversation, the fact the church and the Lord does come up in coverstaion at all is a positive. I used to avoid the subject, but now feel that I can speak my mind.

We still have a way to go. I think we always will, but I'm feeling encouraged and confident that the Lord will not leave Kym behind (or me for that matter!).

Lord, thankyou for showing me these encouraging signs that Kym's heart is softening toward you. I pray that he will let you enter his heart completely and one day we will be able to worship you together.

Dental Dramas...again

Yesterday I had an appointment with my dentist for the last treatment for my root canal. All that needed to be done was fill the roots as they had all been filed out (sounds enticing doesn't it) and fill the tooth.

But no.

It would seem that when it comes to my teeth nothing is ever simple or straightforward.

My dentist decided to take an xray of the tooth once he had it all cleaned out and ready to fill just to be sure everything was as it should be and all those lovely long sharp pointy pins were in the right place. Which of course they weren't. Another half an hour of filing, drilling, scraping, poking and jabbing and he took another xray. This time all was in order. Thank the Lord. You know how I said I'd been having trouble committing myself to prayer? Well I think I made up for that yesterday, although some of it could be mistaken for frustrated nagging.

So after that little hiccup I have had the roots filled but not the filling on top. That is still some temporary plug thingy that needs to be replaced with a proper filling when the tooth settles down in a couple of weeks.

This tooth is at the top, at the very back and so pretty difficult to get to. After one and a half hours I was having real trouble keeping my mouth open. And I wasn't sure if it was my jaw that was hurting or my tooth, but let me tell you something was really hurting! It was my jaw, which is still a bit sore today. The tooth is a bit tender which I was told to expect but I haven't had to take any pain relief which the dentist said may be neccesary.

Of course after that thrilling hour and a half spent reclining in the torturers chair I got another painful surprise.

I have health insurance with dental cover. The best dental cover we could find. And still the gap was over $300 (the full account was around the $800 mark) That was just for that treatment. Not the whole thing. I haven't added up how much it's cost me over the course of all my appointments. It's probably best if I don't know. And the annoying part is that it's STILL. NOT. FINISHED!!!!!!!

*Sigh*

Good Intentions

I have good intentions when it comes to my prayer life, and living in the word of the Lord.

But I seem to be experiencing a great deal of difficulty putting my intentions into actions.

For one thing, I can't find my bible. Sure I have other bibles in the house, but I want mine.

My prayer journal is sitting on my dressing table gathering dust.... and would you believe.... cobwebs. I look at it every morning. You would think I could at least dust the poor thing, or even better pick it up and use it.

I think of these things at work, driving to and from work, and I think to myself "I must make a commitment" but then I get home and I don't give it another thought until the next morning when I see my poor forlorn, dust ridden, cobwebby prayer journal on the dresser.

I remember how it feels to feel you are sitting in the palm of the Lord's hand. To feel that you are close to God, to feel that He is speaking to you through His word. I want to be in that place again, I just don't seem to be able to make the move and pick up that prayer journal.

Lord, please help me to remember that I need you in my life. Remind me when I get all caught up in my responsibilites that it's all so much easier if I'm looking to You for direction.

One Word

Edie over at Rich Gifts is playing a cute game that I thought I would join. You have to answer each of the questions with one word. It's harder than you would think! I'm a person of many words, restricting myself to one is not easy!

I'm not going to tag anyone but if you want to play along let me know so I can come over and read your answers.

Where is your cell phone? Desk

Your hair? Short

Your father? Dependable

Your mother? Reliable

Your favourite thing? Singing

Your dream last night? Dreamless

Your favourite drink? Pepsi

Your dream/goal? Travel

The room you are in? Office

Your fear? Judgement

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Winnebago

Muffins? Savoury

One of your wish list items? Car

Where you grew up? Queensland

The last thing you did? Coffee

What are you wearing? T-Shirt

Your TV? Old

Your computer? Unreliable

Your mood? Frazzled

Missing someone? Mum

Your car? Rattley

Favourite store? Books

Your summer? Hectic

Favourite colour? Yellow

Someone who emails me? Boss

A favourite food? Chocolate

Place I'd rather be right now. Shopping

So there you go! Feel free to join in, I really had fun with this, a bit of light heartedness is just what I needed.

Have a great weekend everyone.

I really don't like teenagers

Sometimes I just want my teenagers to go away.... and come back when they have turned into reasonable adults. But then I wonder if they would ever come back, because I'm not all that confident that they are capable of turning into reasonable adults.

Last night on the way home Steph was telling me about a girl at school (who I know quite well, and I know her parents also) who has been spreading rumours about her. My advice was to just let it go, you can't spend your entire life behaving like the girls on "Mean Girls", at some stage you have to get past this cat fighting stage, because it doesn't solve anything. Of course she went on to justify her behaviour, telling me all the reasons she should retaliate, and that she is of course right.

After listening for a while and trying to reason with her I'm afraid I lost my cool. What I meant to say was that getting involved in altercations with girls like this is not a good idea. Stephanie always loses. She is just not that good at being a "you know what" and in the end she is always the one who gets hurt. That's not quite how it came out. What I actually said was "Grow up and get over it, I'm sick and tired of this rubbish, you always lose, get hurt and then look to me to pick up the pieces"

That was yesterday afternoon. She still hasn't spoken to me.

My first instinct was to apologise, but having given it some thought I've decided not to. She knows I love her, but at some point she needs to start taking responsibilty for her decisions and not expect me to fix everything for her. And I really am sick of it. That's the first time I've ever pointed out to her how her behaviour effects me, and I think (well, to be honest, Kym pointed this out) it's about time she heard it.

The other teenager in my house has turned into a sullen, obnoxious, smelly beast. I do take some comfort in the feedback I'm getting from other people. His school bus driver stopped me in the street the other day to tell me what a lovely, polite young man he is. My first instinct was to check that we were talking about the same person! But it is nice to know that he is being pleasant in public, if not to his family.

In a few years they will be gone... and then I will blog complaining about that!

Dear Lord, please watch over Steph and Scott today. Please help Steph to move on from this stage in her life, to learn to settle disputes amicably without being so confrontational. Please help her to learn to forgive, and to not hold a grudge. Please watch over Scott while he is at school today. Help him to learn, listen and enjoy his studies. Also watch over Steph as she has her second day of work placement for her traineeship. Pray that she can forget about her issues and enjoy the day, and start taking those steps toward being a mature young woman.